Don’t you hate it when there’s a party you’re invited to, but it’s Dulls Ville or you don’t know anyone there or the people you do know are complete tools that your friend is also friends with for some reason, or if barely anyone showed up.
They say girls fall in love in what they hear and boys fall in love in what they see, which is why girls wear make up and boys lie. They forgot to mention this extends to the slutty clothes (or lack of clothes in many cases) girls on the prowl for cock wear to get male attention at nightclubs.
The night couldn’t get any better. You’ve met a guy at a nightclub whose abs you could grate cheese off, you’re thinking about cheese while you’re drunk (don’t pretend you haven’t been there), and you’re heading home to spend the night with Mr Abs, and probably fulfill that drunk desire for cheese and sex.
When I’m at a bar or a nightclub and a guy offers to buy me a drink, nine times out of ten he will buy me some sort of shooter: the “Slippery Nipple”, or the “Wet Pussy”…or if I’m really lucky, the “Screaming Orgasm”. Never mind the embarrassment of having to stand next to a sleazy guy (I had my beer goggles on, okay?)
Take three writers, Melbourne’s hottest new venue (if you didn’t know, it’s called The Key Club…but we’re sure you’ve heard of it already), and a night of glitz and booze, and you’ve got yourself a great event. Here’s some feedback on the venue and event from our correspondents.
We all want to be noticed when we’re out (even those brooding types hiding in the corner!) But sometimes we go unnoticed despite all our best efforts. So as a person of the fairer gender, I’m going to give all you hunters out there insight into how to get us to notice you when you’re out on the prowl.
Alcohol, your real life ‘get out of jail free’ card. What a blessing it is to be able to act on whatever stupid or socially unacceptable whim that comes into your mind and be happily ignorant of any impending consequences. The Mecca of such activities, bars and nightclubs, when you think about it, really are social ‘grey areas’ when it comes to normally
So many 90’s rappers and pop singers have sung longingly about girls who ignore these genuine, famous, successful guys who are totally into them and just keep staying with the wrong guys despite their selfishness and inconsiderate character. Whether the members of those bands got their girls is a mystery, but in the process they have, maybe inadvertently….
Hey, look at you. You survived Valentines Day, way to go. Being able to sneer at cute couples wandering around the streets and frequenting your favourite restaurants and holding hands between courses, those were good bits. Still feeling acutely single at the end of it, that’s lame.
Things like Eurovision, Enrique Englasias and the movie Love Actually would like to have you believe that the language of love really is universal, and I guess in some respects it is. The art of seduction needs no words and attraction is guided by the senses, not the mind. How romantic, how poetic. Sign me up right?