Maybe you’re wondering why many of your friends and acquaintances and people who usually are down for getting cRunNK have been opting to ‘stay-in’ and ‘have a quiet one’ these past few weekends. Opposite month perhaps? Daylight saving?
Um, so, I’ll be honest with you guys, had a pretty rough weekend. Got dumped. It was shit, but amidst all the tears and ice cream, I had an epiphany. I am now on the rebound. Fate has offered me a ‘proceed straight to GO, collect $200, and slut it up without any lasting consequences’ card. Guess I gotta play the hand I was dealt
(I am well aware we are already a month into spring right now, but as I live in Melbourne where the forecast is cruel and volatile, you can understand my timing. That whole month was the adjustment period)
Defining this is somewhat difficult, so instead I will draw the audience participation card and let you do the work for me.
Imagine you are drunk, in a street somewhere, unsure of the location of your destination, fresh out of a taxi
Wanna get high?
Melbourne’s newest club promising Godly proportions is opening this month.
Found myself in a bit of a pickle yesterday. Quite a pickle it was. I wanted to find a karaoke bar to go to and…I COULDN’T FIND ONE. Thanks for nothing, internet. Then I looked a little bit longer and found some links, but overall I assess the process as being too hard and too long and if I wasn’t a karaoke virgin desperate to let my talent loose over ‘kissed by a rose’
Usually you know Spring has sprung because of stuff like more little baby animals wondering around than is usually expected, an increase in airborne pollen, florals, and people complaining about hay fever like it is a chronic and fatal illness
R.I.P Club Soda, you had noble intentions and you even made merchandise with your name on it. You were keen but sadly you were not man enough. I only ever knew of three people that went there. I think it died a slow death.
Anyway, stop your tears because Club Soda is getting reincarnated
Dear every sexual active person,
Could you please abstain from doing it all at one time? Like, you know, not every day in December and January until you get knocked up and then all deliver your babies in a period of three weeks…
Food Vendors: Unlucky teenage Macdonalds employees who get rostered on the graveyard shift. Life is characteristically unfair. Most of the time you try and strive towards attaining something you want, like a job or a girl or being skinny, and then some stupid dick who didn’t even want it stumbles over it.