Story of every clubber’s life: having to come up with a way to nicely let down that guy who’s damn persistent. I like to call them ‘stage five clingers’, and I believe that should become an actual dictionary term because some people can be overly obsessive. Stage five clingers will usually shower you with ridiculous pick-up lines and wreak of desperation, and their clinginess knows no bounds.
Melbourne’s bar scene is renowned throughout the bar scenes of both Australia and the world, and for good reason. One man across the globe who certainly noticed this was Reg Ridealgh, a London bartender who moved to Melbourne and now calls it home. His years of being a bartender inspired him to open his own bar in St Kilda called Love & Dysfunction.
If you are attempting to plan a hen’s night, here is one important tip: IT IS NOT LIKE THE MOVIES! You will not be kidnapping the bride and taking her to a strip show. Sorry to disappoint you.
People usually meet new people through school, university, work, nightclubs, bars, social media, etc; the list could go on for ages. We live in a diverse world and most of us like to expand our horizons and make new friends, which can be very exciting and fulfilling. Some people are shy and may find it more difficult to reach out to other people, so I have accidentally stumbled upon probably one of the most bizarre ways to make friends.
Oh hi, clubbers. You may have heard of a little movie from 2003 called The Room. If you haven’t, that’s okay, heaps of people don’t know it. It’s not something I would recommend for everyone. It was meant to be a very serious romantic drama, but its terrible acting, storyline and dialogue have made it an unintentionally hilarious piece of shit that has a huge cult following.
So have you ever felt the need to add fuel to the fire to see how big the blaze can get? Ever seen the stern look on a security guard’s face and felt the need to try get a reaction out of him/her? It’s like trying to get a reaction out of those soldiers with the big black bearskin caps; it can be funny in a totally disruptive way, yet you don’t think about the consequences until you poke too much and cop what you deserve (uh oh!).
There is one big drawback to working in bars and nightclubs; you will generally be working nights and nearly always working on a Friday and Saturday night. Now at first this may not seem like such a big issue, until you realise just how much you will miss out with people that work Monday to Friday 9 til 5 jobs.
Okay, if I’m being totally honest, dick pics were pretty exciting and interesting at one point. However, as time goes on they become boring and uncreative. I suppose there is a dick pic age group, like either insecure guys send them or younger girls receive them and get excited because they’ve seen their first dick. Congratulations.
Is there an expected age to stop clubbing?
Okay, we all reach that stage when we get over the whole clubbing scene (well most of us!), whether it’d be in our early to mid 20s, late 20s to early 30s, or even at the rare age of 18 where you go out once or twice and then decide the party scene is just not for you.
While writing about my clubbing experiences over the years, I realised I’ve partied for not only ten years, but also through halves of two different decades. Besides making me sound old (by clubbing standards anyway), I have seen a few different trends in fashion and music come and go.