Okay, so like we celebrate Easter because this is the time in the Bible when everybody kinda messed up and Jesus gets crucified and then everybody takes five to think about what they have done and consequences and naughty corner, etc., and then BOOM! J-Man comes back from the dead. This happened over the four days of Easter and that’s why we get so many public holidays at this time of year, thank you Jesus. Also, people fast and stop drinking alcohol and fun stuff like that before Easter during Lent.
Easter may not seem like a clubbing sort of tradition, but after extensive research and a good long think, I’ve discovered actually it is. Unlike Christmas, which is all about Santa and concealing weird family dynamics in an attempt to prove to your extended relatives that you are normal, Easter is all about religion and Jesus and learning about vices and indulgence, all things that clubbing and alcohol can introduce you to.
1. Before Easter is pretty much a big think about what you have done time and then Easter comes and you will have realised so many things about how decent your life is and how you are going to be grateful for everything you just want to celebrate with your friends and they are thinking the same thing, so you go clubbing because you are wiser and a better person.
2. Jesus turned wine into water, so if you drink wine that is reenacting what all the people would have done around at the time. It’s like acting in your own Easter style nativity scene.
3. Everyone else around the world is having a blow out after Lent and so should you.
4. You want to know what Jesus felt like in the cave so you get so wasted you pass out and then are re-born.
5. You want to celebrate the new Pope.
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