Are you like me, or so many party goers before you, who has had their night ended by some cocky bouncer throwing you outside to the curb? Then here’s some ammunition to use at your disposal the next time this happens.
“The line to the bathroom was long and that couch/sink/bar/person looked like a perfect toilet cubical.“
This may have happened to you or your mates, but after a long night of drinking, your bladder will be working in overdrive to turn your favourite cocktail, or drink, into urine-and frequent trips to the bathroom will be a given. Sometimes the lines can be ridiculously long and the wait even more agonising-especially for women. And sometimes, in an act of impatience and lunacy, we will make the most out of a bad situation and compromise … in other words, a random sink, or bloke, could seem like the best place to piss on, given your state of blind drunkenness. With a comeback like this, surely the bouncer will be sympathetic and understanding to your situation.
“I came in here looking to boost my electrolyte levels and now you’re kicking me out, dehydrated? I haven’t had too much to drink!“
You are dancing the night away, like a total idiot, glass in hand, and everybody either seems really nice or really annoying to be around. Now you’re getting in everybody’s face, showering them with affection or trying to start a punch-on and then you hear it from the bouncer: “I’m sorry, sir/ma’am, but I think you’ve had too much to drink.” Let’s analyse why a lot of people have a big night out-to drink either at moderate levels or to get blind wasted. So aren’t we all really suffering the wrath of low electrolyte levels and one of the main reasons we go to a bar/night club is to drink? Case and point. A bouncer should realise this is pure biology and should empathise with you.
“If you didn’t want people to take naps here, your venue shouldn’t have invested in such comfortable couches!”
Drinking to excessive levels will put you on a one-way train to slumber land in no time. And a lurking bouncer will try to spot anybody who remotely looks like they’re just resting their eyes. With this in mind, you aren’t exactly getting involved in a physical altercation, or urinating in a sink, so how is this so bad that you have to be thrown out because of it? The couches are the cause of this problem. Yes … the soft, arse-gripping couches. I mean, what the Hell is a thing like a couch doing at a place like a nightclub anyway? It’s not supposed to a doctor’s waiting room, where it’s welcome to be a couch potato, waiting until your arse sinks into a state of numbness. Suggesting to a bouncer to take a seat on one will make your argument crystal clear.
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