That awkward moment when you’ve taken a lovely lady home from the venue and everything is feeling right, the mood is set, the sexual sensation is there and she is more than happy to rip you bare from your clothes. However, there is a problem; you can’t keep your member up, wow bad luck for you!
I know that girls get thrown hilarious pickup lines that leave you staring at your drink trying not to burst into laughter. I saw a funny page on Facebook that inspired me with these pickup lines. Now guys, please try and refrain from using these as they don’t work; unless of course, on the odd occasion your new lady friend is completely delusional.
We’ve all seen those movies where girls have sleepovers, get up to mischief, leave the house for a scavenger hunt, and play the dangerous game of ‘Truth, dare, double dare, torture, kiss or promise’. Now depending on your age, that game can be PG rated or X-rated.
As much as we love the opposite sex and will do some pretty ridiculous things to impress them, we all bitch about them too. It’s a fact of life. We all say about what a dick/bitch our boyfriend/girlfriend is being about something stupid and say how immature they’re being. This type of rant often has the phrase “Bloody men/women” in it somewhere.
A make-out spot seems to be anywhere these days. Gone are the bed and lounge being the ideal places to plant a pash. Bring on the kitchen benchtop, the beach and even the bathroom. But is sneaking a dirty romp in a nightclub bathroom taking it one step too far? Below are a few reasons why shagging in the bathroom should be kept for at-home only activities.
Nightclubs are full of the evil temptations of the world, from getting drunk, drug use, acting violent, being an egotistical knob, and the big one, trying to get laid by a stranger. Though our better judgment tells us not to fool around if you’re already in a relationship and that we should just say no in the beautiful face of temptation, it’s often not that simple.
Ah yes… You’ve been out all night talking guff and trying not to wince every time you have to fork over $11 for a midi… Through some rare misaligning of stars and crypt-hidden wizard skulls, you’ve managed to convince someone (someone who is semi-conscious)
Getting drunk makes people act overall retarded, from slurring their speech, picking fights for no actual reason, dancing like an epileptic or walking sideways (to be fair, most people can’t dance for shit, and if you’re a woman, high heels make even the very basic act of walking a challenge).
Love has always been and always will be a much debated subject that has no real concrete answers to it. Most people think to be in love with someone is to know them for a while to get to know them and the love will blossom. Of course this ideal makes perfect sense, but what about the old notion of love at first sight?
So you’ve decided to hit the town, it’s a Friday or Saturday night, you’ve had a few drinks and you start flirting with the hot boy/girl at the bar. After a few cheesy one-liners and a few shots later, he/she agrees to go home with you. One thing leads to another and the window to sex is open, the only thing standing in the way…no condom.