Hey Guys!
(Sorry, Girls, today I only mean the guy Guys, like XY guys. Or anybody who produces the hormone testosterone in abundance.)
As you might have realised, October is drawing to a close and that means we are growing ever closer to the great month of MOVEMBER. You are probably thinking, silly girl who is probably a horrendous driver, you mean November. But I do not. You see, Movember is just like the actual November in many respects except for the fact that humans with the ability to grow facial hair are invited to accessorise with a moustache for the whole month in the name of prostate cancer. I confess, I don’t know much about growing a moustache or prostates, but I do know that both facial hair and charity are good, and thus I implore you, male population, to participate in Movember. Yes because it’s a good cause and blah blah whatever, but also because THIS IS GOING TO HELP YOU PICK UP CHICKS X 10950859482938429837.
Let me elaborate. Facial hair is like boobs for men, sorry for those of you who have never realised this before, but it really is. Facial hair trumps funny and muscly and in some special circumstances nice. I like it when my dad is clean shaven, he is probably the only man I can rationalise being clean shaven all the time, otherwise no*.
SCENARIO 1
Girl, “Oh, he has a moustache? How exotic. He must be foreign (thats good) and a good cook/lover with a villa/accent.”
You’re in.
SCENARIO 2
Girl, “Oh, he has a moustache? He must be mature and a good listener/sensitive.”
You’re in.
SCENARIO 3
Girl, “Oh, he has a moustache? I love facial hair.”
You. Are. In.
And even if all you can muster up is a dirty sanchez mo
SCENARIO 4
Girl, “Oh, he has a dirty sanchez mo? He must be participating in Movember and therefore charitable and compassionate and selfless.”
I think you know.
*Disclaimer. Look, I’m not talking about rocking a hobo/jesus beard 365 days of the year, but don’t fear the 5-oclock shadow. Embrace it. Also, ladies who are bummed about already having boobs and not being able to participate in growing some mo, you can be part of the fun too and donate here.
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