I know this isn’t the most optimistic article, but after what I have been through in the last couple of weeks, I felt it was necessary to share these tips with you all… Just in case any of you were to make the same mistakes I did.
I’ve been to some dingy places in my lifetime, like the dark abyss that is the Scottish nightlife scene, and I’ve never been to Magaluf or Kavos. But on my trip to Kings Cross last week I was confronted with a scene that could inspire a sequel to Trainspotting or a place where Bear Gryll’s could find his next unnatural challenge.
If you live in Melbourne and drive a car then you probably have a great disdain for the public transport system and endeavour to avoid it AT ALL COSTS. Fair enough, it’s common sense not to want your
Hey Guys!
(Sorry, Girls, today I only mean the guy Guys, like XY guys. Or anybody who produces the hormone testosterone in abundance.)
(I am well aware we are already a month into spring right now, but as I live in Melbourne where the forecast is cruel and volatile, you can understand my timing. That whole month was the adjustment period)
Defining this is somewhat difficult, so instead I will draw the audience participation card and let you do the work for me.
Imagine you are drunk, in a street somewhere, unsure of the location of your destination, fresh out of a taxi
Found myself in a bit of a pickle yesterday. Quite a pickle it was. I wanted to find a karaoke bar to go to and…I COULDN’T FIND ONE. Thanks for nothing, internet. Then I looked a little bit longer and found some links, but overall I assess the process as being too hard and too long and if I wasn’t a karaoke virgin desperate to let my talent loose over ‘kissed by a rose’
Back in the days when women were exiled to the kitchen (and the bedroom!), the only jobs on offer to the fairer kind were as secretaries or other ad hoc office jobs. Back when women couldn’t vote and men were the sole breadwinners of the family, they were expected to fork out their hard-earned cash to pay for drinks for the women of this world!
Food Vendors: Unlucky teenage Macdonalds employees who get rostered on the graveyard shift. Life is characteristically unfair. Most of the time you try and strive towards attaining something you want, like a job or a girl or being skinny, and then some stupid dick who didn’t even want it stumbles over it.
Cabbies. Also referred to as ‘the drunken man’s punching bag’.
I don’t know why it is, but people just love to walk all over cab drivers just like high school kids trample over substitute teachers. They’re just doing their job, they might even be nice, but it’s so goddamned hard