So many 90’s rappers and pop singers have sung longingly about girls who ignore these genuine, famous, successful guys who are totally into them and just keep staying with the wrong guys despite their selfishness and inconsiderate character. Whether the members of those bands got their girls is a mystery, but in the process they have, maybe inadvertently…. I don’t know, brainwashed guys into believing that good guys really do finish last and cocky assholes prevail and will one day rule the world because they really are all God’s gifts.
Yeah, it continues even now, in the year 2012. In bars and nightclubs across the country many decent guys are struggling under the pressure and forfeiting their better judgment to act like a total douchebag because they think it will pull them chicks.
I’m alarmed how so many of you males have been so grossly misinformed for so long, no matter though I am here to quell this catastrophe. So, officially, on behalf of the entire population of potential girlfriends, wives, partners and pussy, the list of things I am about to give you are not hot and should avoided in all circumstances unless you are trying to abstain from any sort of intimacy with the opposite sex, physical or emotional.
1. Take their shirts off
Ever heard the saying “don’t give the milk away for free because no one will buy the cow,” or something along those lines? Well anyway what it means is when you are giving everyone a full show for free, nobodys gunna stick around for a version you have to pay for, ie buy the cow. Even if the cow has a good rig. (ps you are the cow). Also, it makes us think you have nothing else to offer. Girls don’t go for that with real life guys. We have Zac Effron and Channing Tatum for that.
2. Don’t say ‘hi’ to people they know
YOU ARE NOT EVEN COOL. NO. IGNORING SOMEONE THAT IS TALKING TO YOU IS NOT NICE. EVER. Guess what, you just dropped down 3 points on the hot scale, that’s right buddy. Even if you have beef with them or whatever, just be polite, especially if they wave to you or something. For god sake, what would your Mum say?
3. Try and pick up girls by telling them how many “bitches you have slayed” that night or how much you paid for your pants
a) We know what exaggeration is.
b) We weren’t born yesterday… treating us like idiots isn’t a turn on.
c) Okay so if that is true, why would i/we enjoy being another ‘bitch’ for you. to add on your ‘slayed’ list.
d) We are questioning your sexuality.
4. Dirty dance with a girl… behind their girlfriends back
Even though I don’t know her, we are bound by the sister code and you have jussst been found guilty breaching that baby. It’s also very sleazy and betrays the fact that you are also disloyal, unfaithful and come on too strong. Also, that your not very good at being sneaky either.
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