Let’s pretend your night out is a winding road through an area you don’t know very well. Occasionally, street signs pop up telling you where you are and how fast you should be traveling. You ignore these signs though, because #yolo. Also you have iMaps. You think you know where you are, but it starts to get very dark and you’re getting awfully tired.
The following are tried and tested ways to get yourself kicked out of clubs and bars. In case any prospective employers happen across this article, the following have never happened to me - they happened to my, er, friend.