So you and your group of gal pals and are frantically texting one another to assure everyone is meeting at the same place, and that you won’t be the first one there of course. A simple thing that is easily overlooked besides the budget you have set yourself is your dance floor buddy.
Dance floor buddy: The person whose arm you grab on instinct when the DJ plays “Single Ladies” or anything else just as mainstream, the person who you shuffle left with to avoid being grinded on by the slender man, and the person with whom you share a mutual agreement that whatever moves you bust out on the night are automatically dope and deserve a “WHOOP WHOOP”.
There are 5 ways to stereotypically categorise your crew, and from this your best pick of dance floor buddy type.
The Mother: She may be the designated driver or a girl that is very sensibly natured. She will take on a motherly role and keep an eye out for your whole group. There’s no doubt she may judge you, but will also willingly evacuate a stall and hold your hair back whilst you make a visit to the bathroom. Don’t doubt her ability to dance though; it will just include the frequent turning of the head to check on everyone else. BEST DANCE BUDDY : TAKEN GIRL
Ms Confident: Now this chick is just waiting for Ester Dean to tell her to Drop It Low, Low! She has her club tricks handy and doesn’t need to be heavily boozing to get out on the dance floor while the stamp is still fresh on her wrist. No hesitation, this girl is a heavyweight, a professional, and your biggest competition for dance floor attention. BEST DANCE BUDDY: BUZZ-LESS
Taken Girl: Not the movie, but the girl who is hopefully faithful and is just there for a night with the girls. Whilst on the battlefield that is the dance floor, she may take form of your lesbian partner to deflect any unwanted groping or creepers in general. BEST DANCE BUDDY: THE MOTHER
Buzz-Less: She is just as hypo as Ms Confident, however the liquor has worn off and she can feel the pain of her shoes. It’s possible she’ll become boring unless she gets her hands on some more gummy bear juice but don’t underestimate a sober person’s ability to move! … even if its off the dance floor completely? It depends on if it’s worth the pain. BEST DANCE BUDDY: MS CONFIDENT
Occupied: She is busy playing tongue tag or will willingly be sucked into a stranger for a lengthy grinding session. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY SACRIFICED YOUR RIGHT TO A DANCE BUDDY! No one should have to stand by and watch this, Aca-awkward.
Of course you’re bound to dance with all of your friends, I’m not saying to leave the unlucky odd number to watch the bags (no one deserves this). But it is useful to pick a buddy that will be you’re automatic go-to. Girls, please note this process will work better if you can admit to yourself what category you’ve cruelly fallen into. It is all in fun, so share this around. Unless you’re in the “Occupied” category, then maybe keep this to yourself, and consider who’s with you next time.
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