I suffer from bipolar. Unless I’m riding high on some serious up-swings, it tends not to be a very fun mental illness. If there is one thing us ‘bi-polar bears’ love as much as a good anxiety spiral, it’s a good drink. From Ernest Hemingway to Carrie Fischer to Hustler’s Larry Flint, people with bi-polar have a proud history of partying like only people who are at war with themselves can. Here are some prescription cocktails for my fellow bi-polar boozehounds.
UP-SWING
Death in the Afternoon: This decadent treat comes from the double-barrelled mind of Papa Hemingway himself. His instructions are as follows: “Pour one jigger absinthe into a Champagne glass. Add iced Champagne until it attains the proper opalescent milkiness. Drink three to five of these slowly.” When your neurochemicals have decided that you’re going to be as bubbly as the Fitzgerald’s, then follow Hem’s instruction and you too can write in your diary: “Got tight on absinthe last night, did knife tricks.”
Barrel of Rum: Your upswing is peaking, so you decide to go into overdrive by drinking a bucketload of the strongest most tropical drinks you can get your hands on. May I suggest the Barrel of Rum? A simple mix of dark rum, lime juice, passion fruit and bitters. It’ll turn you into the John Belushi of Animal House, before you crash and emerge as the John Belushi of real life.
DOWN-SWING
Old Fashioned: Something in your brain has switched gears and you are starting to feel tired, sad and nasty. So make sure you start drinking something rooted in the empathetic bitterness of whiskey. And make sure they use good rye whiskey! You want a drink that snaps like you, dagnammit!
Mug o’ Gin: Poor a mug of gin. Drink!
MELLOWING OUT
The White Russian: Nothing says “the dude abides” like this calming drink. Your brain may not be able to decide whether it loves or loathes everyone around you, but when it comes to a good White Russian, there is simply no debate.
ON MEDS?
Then may I suggest the…
Lucille Bluth: Chase your pills down with a dry martini.
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