For those who are still innocent and pure, the walk of shame is the next morning’s unavoidable journey home after a one-night stand, sorry to be the one to corrupt you. If you’re thinking, what’s the big deal?
Then you obviously have never experienced it or you are a boy or the one time it did happen they were your next-door neighbor and you got to run home without anybody seeing you.
It’s like that game Pony Express, the one where your whole class stood on either side of the hall and then you had to run back and forth while they threw balls at you and you had to dodge them. Except there are no balls, just judgment.
I assume if you’re reading this then you are (or should be ) 18+ and have probably partaken in your own sexual education, but just incase you find yourself pondering these questions and don’t know who to ask, you can put your minds’ at ease.
“How morally repugnant is the walk of shame?”
Repugnant is a very strong word, also it assumes that the walk of shame is without question a morally repugnant activity. Which is silly because for some people the ‘walk of shame’ is the equivalent to a high 5 from the universe and is a solid achievement. Lets instead say, ‘how much would you have to pay me before I would admit I ever did this to my grandmother?’ this is more subjective.
You have to answer this for yourself. But really, what do you have to be shameful for? If you haven’t hurt anybody’s feelings, insulted a racial minority or broken the law then you’re pretty sweet.
“What do I do if I can’t remember their name the next morning?”
Check your phone for any texts you might have sent to friends telling them where you were going. Or just try and avoid saying their name, babe…or if you are totally out of luck and are confronted by this person and they demand to hear you say their name, just lol about it. Ill tell you the truth it is a little funny.
“Is there any way I can help my situation?”
Be resourceful. Go to the bathroom and freshen up if possible, wipe the makeup from under your eyes, steal some mouthwash. Borrow a jacket, ideally one with a hood – wearing normal, daytime clothes is good for not drawing unnecessary attention and also concealing your identity. Above all else, think graceful thoughts.
“I’m not even on the walk of shame! I slept at a friends house and am looking unfortunate, how do I let people know they are mistaken?”
You could cut them off in the street and explain yourself, or better yet make a sign to carry around so that you reach a larger audience. But really, what is more desirable, having people be jealous because they suspect you just got lucky, or confirming the fact that no you did not, but you are practically a psycho?
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