Drunk texting… There are a number of things you should not operate under the influence. A car, a boat, a plane, heavy machinery, and a phone. It’s that time of night where tequila starts yelling “HE DON’T KNO HOW MUCH U LUV HIM GURL U GOTTA TELL HIM!” It’s also the time where vodka chimes in squealing “ooooh that bitch, how dare she steal yo’ boyfrand last Tuesday, who the hell does she think she is hmm?” There’s really no hope for anyone drunk with a phone, unless that phone is out of battery. I believe that drunk actions are sober thoughts… Which really makes anything you admit drunk kinda incredibly awkward the next day.
Sometimes not acknowledging the previous night’s behaviour can work a treat… Like how you texted your ex 24 times asking if he missed you, and you got no reply. Don’t fool yourself, he definitely got every single one of those messages and he doesn’t miss you. Perhaps moving on from this brief lapse of sanity and not acknowledging it ever again will be best for you and your bruised pride.
Drunk texting is one of those beautiful things that can either help or hinder a blossoming relationship. That boy you’re kinda talking to was texting you all night while you were out and you kinda revealed that you think his hair reminds you of sunshine and his eyes can only be described as a “Dory natural blue”. If he’s actually into you, he’ll end up texting you the next day refusing any apology for your behaviour, saying what you said was cute. Of course, you could have also revealed to him that he would be such a great catch if it weren’t for his horrible teeth… In this case, you could probably sing good-bye.
What about that best friend of yours who you’ve always kind of had a thing for? That friend you wish would pull you out of the friend zone? No better time to ask than after an ABC shot. This is perhaps the most slippery slope of them all because you have the most to lose. Fingers crossed he replies, but if not there’s always the “I’m so sorry for texting you and waking you up last night!! My friend saw your FB and thought you were hot and messaged you on my phone!” If there’s one thing I’ve learnt it’s always blame the friend.
Don’t forget the possibility of being on the other end of the line. Wouldn’t it be nice to find out Jake from IT thinks your hot. There’s something slightly poetic about having someone text you while drunk. They’re incoherent, and usually unable to string together a sentence, but they thought of you.
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