Unless you are living under a rock, you have probably noticed the exponential emergence of small bars over the past couple of years. Mind you, perhaps there is even one under your rock as they tend to be found in odd places. This emergence was not simply part of the hipster craze, but actually fueled by legislation.
I suffer from bipolar. Unless I’m riding high on some serious up-swings, it tends not to be a very fun mental illness. If there is one thing us ‘bi-polar bears’ love as much as a good anxiety spiral, it’s a good drink.
Over the shoulder boulder holder, tit sling, boober scooper, whatever you’ve named it (or maybe you’re normal like me and just call it your bra), it’s your best friend on a night out. I understand with some dresses it’s impractical because you can see it because your dress is backless or you have tiny boobs that there is no point putting two layers over them or maybe you’re just super confident.
Today we commence the inaugural fail in our new series of articles focusing of the alcohol induced stupidity that happens on any good night out on the town. If you want to submit a video, post in on Youtube (as you do) and send the link to matt(at)barsandnightclubs.com.au. Enjoy!
Don’t you hate it when unwelcome idiots intrude in on your party and spoil it for everyone, especially if it’s someone you know and aren’t friends with? And by friends, I mean the original definition of the word in that it’s someone you’re close to, not a so-called “friend” on Facebook you haven’t seen in three or more years.
All of us know someone who has a 100% success rate of ruining nights out. Through a cruel twist of fate, you’ve found yourself out on the town with them. Well, here’s just a little of what to expect.
1. The Brony
This guy has spent the last 37 hours arguing on 4chan about which Digimon is the most bonable, y’know, “if you had to”.
When planning a night out, deciding whether to wear high heels or not is one of the biggest decisions a girl can make. For a boy, it’s a no-brainer of closed in shoes. But for a girl, it’s a question of: do I want to look hot and suffer all night or look less hot and be comfortable? Naturally, we choose high heels (only the sensible wear flats) and here is a list of the pain us girls suffer whilst wearing them.
We all groan at the mere thought of having to use trains. And why is that? The other people that use public transport, like weirdos, junkies, teen gangster wannabes and general dickheads. However, for probably 10 or so of the above, you get a hot chick too, one definitely worth checking out on your otherwise long, boring train ride.
It’s a Saturday night, the cheap vodka and limes are flowing, the beats are pumping, then, all of a sudden, you wake up in a pool of vomit (yours or someone else’s) and no recollection of the night before. Sound familiar? Sick of those nights where you look more like a dehydrated athlete as you reach for pre-mix rather than a sophisticated drinker?
Is anybody having the same issue as me? I go to a club all like, “Hey yeah, cool, ready for a good time, had some pre-drinks, ready for a bit of a party.” Get inside, look around and think, “Hold up. Why did the bouncers let me in, I’m so wasted, I think I am in the ’90s.” And then I’m not wasted because I realise any self respecting, educated, sober person would easily mistake many a Melbourne club for the ’90s.
