Nothing gets more uncomfortable than having a friend zoned friend hit on you while drunk… Or at all really or lets just stick with while drunk. It’s annoying, inconvenient, and quite frankly a bad kind of surprise. It’s worse than having some creep follow you around a nightclub because you can ditch them easy peasy, but a friend? You’ve got to think about their feelings which can be irritating, especially since their actions have now jeopardised the future of your friendship. Here are some ideas on what to do if this happens to you:
1. Laugh And Ask What The Hell They’re Trying To Do
Meet awkward in the middle and straight up stop them before they get carried away. Well, when they start trying to hold your hand and play with your hair, it can only go downwards from there, let’s be honest. Just break out with “uh, honey, what are you doing”, and then go to the bathroom, get a drink, take a walk, have a chat to someone else, and hope they’ve found someone else to hit on by the time you get back.
2. Hook Up With Someone Else
If you really want to go for the jugular, you could do it right in front of your pining friend too. But nothing sends a clearer message than getting with someone else. However, this makes it way more likely that the rest of your night will be ruined – I mean, a drunk pining and heartbroken friend is a recipe for disaster, and you’re the one who is supposed to pick up the pieces… Right after you threw them on the ground and spat on them. Harsh, but effective.
3. Hook Them Up With Someone Else
This option kind of goes hand in hand with number 2, but nevertheless, it is still an option in its own right. Recognise the warning signs of the affectionate behaviour towards you and deflect it. Find someone, maybe even someone who looks similar to you, and throw them at your friend. Distraction is key, and if you get out early you can escape unscathed.
Just leg it, get out of there; the faster you run, the faster the nightmare will end. Hopefully your friend won’t mind being ditched, I’m sure they’ll be fine. It’s the conversation the next morning that will be the real challenge, but there’s always the solid “OMG I was SO drunk last night I don’t remember a thing!… You?” Hopefully they’ll follow suit… If not claim ignorance and apologise profusely for leaving them and “not realising” that they were trying to hit on you. Either that or never speak to them again.