Blokes have been fighting over girls for literally thousands of years and although women have largely broken the shackles of oppression and are seldom used by men as trophies to display how awesome they are, it’s still a touchy subject. Most of us know that moving in on a mate’s chick can potentially destroy a friendship and yet it still happens all the time. A subtle touch here and a sneaky brush there can snowball into a fully-fledged romp. When the alcohol has kicked in and the prospect of the dreary guilt filled hangover is light years away, one thing can lead to another. Here are a few tips to help you avoid losing what means so much more than a just throwaway fling.
Bros before Hoes. This sacred yet rather hollow idiom represents the bond of mateship but is a principle that can be interpreted in more ways than one. When a fella meets a fine young thang, his social conduct is anything but what the revered slogan suggests. They usually disappear from the social scene and are seldom seen again. May as well have been abducted by aliens! We have a word for this: ‘whipped’. This may seem like your mate has disembarked from the brotherly code but it’s actually an opportunity for you to fulfill its sentiment. Respect your mate by not cracking onto his girlfriend. This is a different yet more honourable interpretation and one that bares thinking about.
A good way to test whether you’re stepping over the line is to imagine what you’d do if your mate unexpectedly spotted you. You may be on the dance floor, a few bevos into the whimsical blurriness of intoxication and getting increasingly personal with his better half. That graze of her butt might seem like just a bit of play, but would the sight of your mate snap you into soberness? A fling with a mate’s missus is a insidious affair so don’t let it creep up on you unsuspectingly.
Talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk. Talking is fine. The infamous English socialite Christine Hamilton once said that the best part of being married is that you can flirt terribly with other men and it’s ok because it won’t lead anywhere. This cheery yet slightly precarious prospect is good advice. Enjoy a friendly chat or even a slight flirt with your friend’s girlfriend but know someone is going to get hurt if you don’t keep it in your pants.
Sometimes, very occasionally you’ll notice a bond with a mate’s girlfriend that is more than just cheeky flirtation. Sometimes people are just meant for each other and the chemistry of two people will always outweigh social etiquette and moral servitude. This is the only time it’s ok to move in on another guy’s girlfriend. Just be sure you’re thinking with your heart and not another major organ.
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