Guys and girls, let’s face it, sometimes you’re looking to pick up just for the night. You want to have a good time then get on with your life. But how can you do this without hurting anyone? Easy, pretend to be a backpacker. Everyone knows what they’re getting into when they hook up with a backpacker. They don’t expect the relationship to last beyond the night (if for some reason they did, you could always say you leave the next day).
Pretending to be a backpacker is just a little white lie that rips away the cultural pressures of courtship. This allows you to do whatever you want with somebody who, evident in their desire for a backpacker, wants the same ‘no strings attached’ situation.
The Benefits:
- You don’t need to give out your number because you don’t have “international roaming” or a “local SIM”.
- You can encourage them to buy you drinks by saying your country is so much cheaper or that you need to ration $50 per day.
- You can wear tie dye or yoga pants to a club.
- You can use that fake accent you do so well, but never have a chance to practice.
- You get to give yourself whatever background story you desire.
How to be a convincing backpacker:
- Girls, don’t use a handbag, use a small backpack, bumbag or, better still, a conspicuous money belt.
- Carry an aluminum water bottle with you. A small torch is a good prop too.
- Use a foreign passport to prove your age to bouncers.
- Under-dress. Where possible, wear a singlet, shorts and/or thongs. Try to have at least one stain on your T-shirt. A promotional top from a pub, an Australian beer brand top or a sports jersey from another country are all good options.
- Wear multiple string bracelets on both wrists.
- Have a pair of sunglasses on your head.
- Girls, wear minimal make-up, if any. Have your hair in a pony tail.
- Go to backpacker bars like Scubar. Go to bars on week nights.
- Drink the worst possible Australian beer you can think of.
- Drink out of a bucket.
- Act excited by everything especially the way people talk in ‘Straya’.
What can catch you out:
- Bars/clubs where the staff will recognise you.
- People from the country of your fake origin.
- Pretending to be from a country that speaks another language. Unless you do speak it.
- Accidentally inviting them back to your place (unless you stay at a hostel that night..).
- Using your mobile.
- Suggesting other local bars/clubs you enjoy.
- Not having a solid background story. Know your home town!
Good luck everyone!
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