When I’m at a bar or a nightclub and a guy offers to buy me a drink, nine times out of ten he will buy me some sort of shooter: the “Slippery Nipple”, or the “Wet Pussy”…or if I’m really lucky, the “Screaming Orgasm”. Never mind the embarrassment of having to stand next to a sleazy guy (I had my beer goggles on, okay?), but now I get the added embarrassment of the bartender knowing that I’m going to have a Screaming Orgasm. Why can’t he just order me a nice drink like a Rum and Coke instead?
Well, let’s face it – bars and nightclubs make their money from alcohol and entry fees that people pay for the prospect of people getting laid. The more people that pick up at the bar, the more people that come back in the hopes of picking up, and so on. If a guy is picking up a girl, the best bet he can possibly have by buying her a sexual-sounding drink is that – when she’s completely hammered and his wallet is empty – she will remember how funny he was for ordering her that one shooter.
There are a few problems with this plan though. Guys, keep this in mind the next time you want to give a girl at the bar a Slippery Nipple:
So guys, next time you buy a girl a drink that is named after her body parts, consider this: $8 can also buy a girl Rum and Coke and buy you a 5 or 10 minute conversation. While that sounds like some cheesy fairy-tale stuff that’s inappropriate for the bars and nightclubs scene, just remember: unless you’re very good looking or she’s got her beer goggles on, the best way to pick up a girl in any situation is to talk to her before you try and make a move.
And if you choose to keep with your plan, well…you can always tell your friends that you gave a girl a Screaming Orgasm on Saturday night.
1 Comment
Jonathan Margeridis
You left out the fact that if you’re at a club where the girls are obviously letting guys buy them drinks left right and center, you’re not probably dealing with girls that have an APPRECIATION for rum.
I mean lets face it, if we should continuously be buying the lovely ladies their drinks then they’re obviously in it for some free piss… conversation doesn’t need to be sparked by the number of drinks you buy.
Somehow Dani California doesn’t come across as a girl that’s got an acquired taste for gin and juice or rum and coke. Its a specific characteristic that if she DID posses, she wouldn’t be picking up sleazebags.
The sleazy ones buy their potential victim a wet pussy because its quick and gets the girl in a position where she will open up to even the most socially retarded person.
You buy and girl a rum and coke, a glass of vino, or a Jameson with two cubes of ice, you’re leading to some sophisticated conversation in which the guy will need his a-game to win her over.
Lets face it, most guys don’t have that ability, and most girls don’t have patience for a guy who spends 25 minutes trying to think of something to say!
27 Feb 2020 11:02 am (@Twitter)
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