I recently wrote an article about the tacky birthday invitations you get from nightclubs trying to get you to head over there to celebrate your birthday just so they can make money from you (a business trying to woo potential clients to make money, who would have thought!).
Dear every sexual active person,
Could you please abstain from doing it all at one time? Like, you know, not every day in December and January until you get knocked up and then all deliver your babies in a period of three weeks…