Stereosonic hit Sydney and Perth over the weekend and caused an earthquake of fake tans, weird pupils and ass shorts. Two whole days of going hard and getting sun burnt is a requirement of the music festival that will move on Brisbane and Melbourne this weekend.
Among the drug overdoses, vomit and technical difficulties the festival was a success with young guns and older partiers alike. Between cheerleaders, bananas and matching Hawaiian shirts, the outfits ranged between cute and questionable (Pink Speedo, we’re looking at you!) and the smell of fake tan and Raspberry Smirnoff cans was strong in the air at Sydney Olympic Park.
The two day festival has now caused a depressing come-down in the form of Facebook statuses and #takemeback accompanied by videos swirling on social media. We are here to offer support and advice on how to survive the Stereosonic aftermath and how to cope with the fact that you will now have to wait another year until showing that much skin with no beach is acceptable again.
Our first piece of advice is to tone down the fake tan to an acceptable glow, take off your sunglasses and wash those shorts and put them away until next year. Looking at your photos and videos may cause too much grief, so instead check out Stereosonic Exposed 2013 on Facebook for hilarious content. Aloe Vera that sun burn and don’t do drugs for a good month. And finally, eat something fatty and forget your protein diet.
Or, forget that advice and head on up to Brisbane or down to Melbourne to do it all again this weekend, because fuck getting old! You can definitely fit in at least two more spray tans before a chemical explosion in your body.
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