So you’re at a great house party at your mate’s house and you’ve finally bagged that hottie that you’ve been locking eyes with all night. Things are getting pretty heated and you wanna go all the way. But where can you do it without been seen and/or photographed? These are the top 5 places to have sex at a party.
1. Your Friend’s Bed
Yeah, they’ve probably had sex in it, maybe as little as 10 minutes ago. But who cares? You’re drunk, he’s drunk, your friend’s drunk and you need to get some ASAP. You can swing the excuse, “Oh I’m just going to get something from my bag” and sneak him in there. Rule number 1: Don’t forget to lock the door. No one wants to see his white ass pumping you. Rule Number 2: Close the blinds, people have cameras. Number 3: You’ve having sex in your friend’s bed, the least you could do is not make a mess.
2. The Bushes
Oh so trashy you think? Yeah, probably, but please, who hasn’t done something trashy before. It makes a great story of your young party days and if you haven’t done anything trashy at least once then you are super boring. Rule 1: Make sure the bushes don’t have thorns or anything like that. Rule 2: Behind the bushes in a garden works just as well. Rule 3: If you hear people coming, maybe pull your pants up.
3. Their Parents’ Bed
Don’t let them catch you because they’ll probably be extremely angry. But you can always laugh about it in the future. I’ve done this, it works out fine. Rule number 1: Again, lock the damn door. Rule number 2: Don’t turn the light on, your friend will see someone is in their parents’ room, assume the worst and try and break down the door.
4. In Your Car
Windows steam up, people can’t see in, if the car’s a-rocking don’t come a-knocking. Cliche to the best, but having sex in your car is fun and everyone should do it at some point. If you haven’t had sex in your car, it has not been christened!
5. In A Neighbour’s Yard
Because who would expect to find you three doors up having sex on their neighbour’s bonnet? No one! Their front lawn, their car bonnet, hell if you’re feeling dangerous what about their veranda?! Rule Number 1: Don’t let the neighbours catch you; all hell will break loose. Rule number 2: Don’t ruin any of their property, your friend’s party will be blamed. And then you’ll be blamed and your friendship will be altered for life.
Leave a Comment