Underwear is essential and a polite way to cover your lady bits when dancing and bending over in clothing that are explicit or too short for an intoxicated person to cover up … I should know.
I am not one for wearing dresses out on a Saturday night, it’s just something about getting extremely low that I love doing, and when wearing a dress I can’t get as low as I want to. My friends are forever pulling my dress down telling me I am flashing people. Awkward.
So I have created a 411 on underwear etiquette; it is a must know if you want to maintain your reputation and socially survive the night.
Number 1: When wearing a dress or mini shorts that are shorter then your vagina, please wear underwear, and I mean actual underwear! A thong doesn’t count. Invest in some seamless underwear, they are always popular. Just remember there is no shame in underwear.
Number 2: Possibly choose a colour that doesn’t coincide with the colour of your skin. People may have mistaken them for your lady bits; yes, I am speaking from experience. I will never wear a dress with nude undies again.
Number 3: Make sure you have friends who are aware that your ass will be hanging out most of the night if you are intoxicated. They need to be on the look out for ass cheeks and underwear. You don’t want to mistakenly give a man the wrong impression and then get hassled all night.
Number 4: If you plan to get paralytic, smashed, tanked, whatever, choose decent attire for the night. And I suggest flats, you don’t want to wake up in the morning with photos and status’ on Facebook about your ‘flashy night’ as well as a broken ankle.
Number 5: If you ignore the following information, just be prepared to observe things on Facebook, and receive weird looks and gestures from friends and randoms. If you’re happy with this, then by all means expose yourself indecently, but bare in mind witnesses would like to enjoy their night and only see double and not your lady bits!
Bottom line is, if you do choose to wear something skanky with heels, please choose the appropriate underwear to go with the attire or drink in moderation. But if you decide to go all out with nude underwear or a thong in a tight mini dress and get low, expect complaints and possibly standing on the outside of the venue watching your friends enjoy themselves.
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