Two years ago today the 2010 graduating classes of every (well everyone who is anyone) Victorian high school was loosing their shit in costume to the anthem of Ke$ha and Swedish House Mafia.
Celebrating the conclusion of secondary institutionalisation, (lol. But srz) and trying to forget the impending doom of the upcoming three hours that would determine the course of the rest of their natural lives. The english exam.
Two years ago that was meeEEeEeE! Oh year 12s how I, and every other high school graduate, envies you. So much so that we will shamelessly admit that WE WANT TO BE YOU. But look, guys, we know that there is no way that can happen. Now we are old and have been turned bitter and cynical from the sobering realities of tertiary education/full time work. Bleak.
But Hey! Turn that frown upside down because maturity and experience have thrown us a few, out-of-bounds-for-school-kids, compensatory bones so as to enable us to pity ourselves less.
BEING ‘OF-AGE’
Thats right, when you are at this stage of your life you and all of your friends have passed the threshold of your teens and are ready to take on your twenties. Ignore all the maturity and expectation terms and conditions that come with that shit and what are you left with? A whole group of people that are guaranteed to get into any venue anywhere. No more fake ID bullshit, no more changing names in phones, no more dealing with your underage friend who gets knocked back. No more identity theft.
YOU’RE NOT REQUIRED TO HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE
Although Year 12 comes with the luxury of a universal 10 month sympathy vote, but university gets you a 3 - 4 year get out of jail free card. You can de-rail yourself and change courses as many times as you like as long as you are still enrolled in something because university is all about ‘discovering yourself’. In year 12, if you don’t know what you want to do for the rest of your life forever and ever no take backs cross your heart hope to die, you get a $240 fine. Dicks.
EXAMS ARE NOT THE ENTIRE SUM OF YOUR EXISTENCE
They are a bit of a wank, actually. 30% of your mark to spend an hour reflecting on what you have learnt by taking the course versus 50% on your ability to regurgitate all the information of a 400 page text book.
YOU ACTUALLY ARE WISER THAN YOU WERE TWO YEARS AGO
No really. Getting closer to adulthood and learning about social responsibility and how corrupt and selfish humanity is in reality is a horrible thing that has to happen, but you learn useful stuff along the way. Things that no one would have been able to get through to you in high school. Yeah, you can’t pull stunts and get away with it like you did in high school, but no matter. You are too smart to get caught doing that now.
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