We’ve all experienced that ‘crawl in a hole’ moment when you know you’ve done something that when you’re sober, you would definitely think twice about. It’s pretty hard to avoid doing regrettable things when under the influence of alcohol - like hooking up with the ex you cannot stand, or even hooking up with your best friend’s boyfriend. Yikes! Prepare yourself for a bitch slap and a lot of name-calling.
The next morning has dreadfully arrived, slowly, and steadily along with a killer hangover. What happened last night you wonder? You check your favorite social networking sites and your own photos, to find all the events from last night. It started from giving your crush a lap dance, to doing a naked streak across the football oval and finishing it off by telling everyone you can skoal the last half of the vodka straight! Then spewing everywhere and this was all BEFORE you went out. What a crazy night you’ve had so far and it’s only early.
You scroll through a few more photos, only to find a video… What’s on the video you wonder? You see yourself at the venue, out the back with your group of friends and another groups of girls. Everything is silent, then suddenly the blonde-headed-bimbo takes a swing (explains the black eye), you’re in for the kill, only problem is you can’t fight at all! This is serious girl on girl action, leaving you bleeding on the floor. Ouch!
Moving along further into the night, you wipe your face and wear your pride, what’s left of it anyway… You decide ‘enough is enough’, you drunkenly leave the venue, stumbling out wearing those painful six inchers. You walk past all the pretty lights, and all the people. In your sights are a tattoo shop and a sex shop, you think to yourself I’m not getting any lovin’ tonight, a tattoo is it! A tramp stamp to be exact, saying your ex’s name. It is a complicated situation, you just can’t get over him; besides, it’s in Chinese, it could mean anything in the morning!
Finally, it’s the morning and you’ve made it to what appears to be your comfy king size bed. You wake up feeling pretty good, can’t remember any of the events from last night, but what’s it matter? It’s not like there’s any permanent evidence…
I suppose, last night wasn’t as wild as other experiences people have had. At least you didn’t;
One: Lose your virginity to a stranger while drunk - Bad move.
Two: Drink a whole bottle of vodka to yourself - Your liver already hates you.
Three: Participate in an orgy - Remember sex ed class? Use protection!
Four: Sell your soul to someone - This could be a mistake.
Five: Get married to a stranger - You’re not in Vegas, sweetheart!
Six: Offer yourself to the bouncer, in exchange to get in after curfew - Where is your dignity and self-respect, girl?
Seven: Try drugs - When you’ve never touched them before.
Eight: Break into a shop - No, just because you were hungry and your favorite food place was closed doesn’t mean free entry for drunk delinquents.
Nine: Throw a drink over a random - I hope you can run fast!
Ten: Go back with your ex - ‘all is forgiven’ - Hell no, reality check!
Just a word of advice ladies. If you think you’re going to regret something in the morning, sleep ’til the afternoon!
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