Hangovers: the very way in which God made his disciples feel guilty for having one too many at the Last Supper. A tradition which He himself continued to burden the global population with each and every morning after an overindulgence.
Ringing ears, the escaping of fluids out of each and every bodily orface, and the inability to locate your underwear. The hangover is definitely the Lord’s way of providing an insight into hell.
While many of us have subscribed to the fact that sufferance is a part of day to day life (cue sermon), we continue to inflict ourselves with pain, despite knowing better.
With experienced mind, and a tethered year 8 science book in hand: it is time to defeat hangover hell with scientific knowledge.
Let there be light.
Line the stomach for lager:
We’ve all heard the saying ‘eat before you head out’, but we often don’t ever stop to think why, other than the fact that food might be more expensive on the town. Truth be known, alcohol is an irritant on the stomach, causing annoyance to the lining in particular- hence the saying ‘line your stomach’. It won’t make you any less hungry later, but you will be able to pace yourself a little more throughout the night, and ensure those drinks don’t head into the blood stream too quickly.
Plan your plentiful drinks:
Drinking red wine or whisky in copious amounts is a prescription for hangover hell (and a box of Panadene). Certain fermentation in some alcoholic products can make hangovers all the more severe. Dark spirits and red wine are the worst offenders, with increased fermentation. Opting for a white wine instead can save you hours of agony the next day
Be cynical with sleep:
After a big night out it’s only normal for our feet to lead us step by step straight into bed: whether it be for relaxation or rendezvous. While waking up after a few hours sleep may make you feel as though you’ve hit the ‘reset’ button in terms of your body, this is not the case. Alcohol has been proven to degrade within the body at a slow and steady rate: whether you are sleeping or not. Measure your post-party time by hours, not sleep.
Pain killer party pooper:
Reaching for the Panadol before opening ones eyes may seem like a good idea at the time, but research has shown that paracetamol used the morning after is likely to cause damage to your alcohol-stressed liver. A lighter type of pain relief such as Asprin is less likely to aggravate your liver even more.
Break that fast, fast:
After gripping the toilet bowl for what feels like an eternity, extending that grip to eggs and bacon may not seem appealing, but it is sure to settle that stomach. Alcohol from the night before is certain to have messed around with your body’s blood sugar levels, and this is why something with carbs, sugar or fat will make your body instantly feel better. Just make sure you’ve finished with the toilet bowl first.
Coffee-no-no:
Coffee constricts blood vessels in your head when the body is dehydrated, causing headaches, increased urination and a viscous cycle of once again more dehydration. Get a Grande tomorrow to make up for lost caffeine.
Continuing the drink is daft:
While many people say having a drink or two when you get home, and another in the morning helps the body to ease off the alcohol bit by bit, the consumption of more alcohol the morning after only prolongs a hangover waiting to occur. Reach for water instead.
Avoid these seven deadly sins and you too can avoid hangover hell.
May peace be with you.
Sophie Lane
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Seven deadly hangover sins « Scrap Paper Musings
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