Clubs and bars offer its patrons an array of gratifying and fun opportunities. There’s DJs, dance floors, bars, big speakers and what club reviewers like to call ambiance. They are all complimented with a cheeky drink or ten, but not necessarily in the outside area. Buying a drink and venturing to the outside are to visit smokers’ corner or to just get some ‘fresh air’ can be devastatingly soured when the bouncer ‘conveniently’ informs you that you’ll have to leave your ‘little helper’ behind because it has reached a certain time or it is their policy. One is left with the decision of skolling their drink or leaving it unattended and unguarded from drink spikers or cretins lurking in the dark endeavouring to nick it. But fret not, here are some dependable if not surefire ways of successfully liberating your beverage.
In Your Pocket. This option will not only enable you to enjoy your drink outside, it will also amplify your ego. Whatever you do, don’t spill it or you’ll soon learn that Billy Madison was wrong when he said, “You ain’t cool, unless you pee your pants.”
A Girl’s Handbag. So that’s why girls carry around those things. The handbag is the perfect tool for carrying your contraband across the border. Just be prepared for the fifteen minutes it will take for her to find it. ZING.
The Holster. If your pockets aren’t big enough, and let’s face it, unless you’re a dirty parachute pants wearing hippie, just tuck it into your pants under your shirt. However, beware of how painfully cold it will be pressed against your skin and be mindful of the funny faces you might pull if you’re stuck in a crowd heading outside - your fellow revellers will most likely find you very odd.
The Ol’ Flask. This option is particularly popular amongst alcoholics and pre-teens but come on, if it works then why not try it? Right?… RIGHT? Not only will your wallet experience less damage you’ll be a total badass, albeit a kinda sad one.
So there you go, a guide on how to break the rules. Alternately, you could just go outside in between drinks, there’s that option also.
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