Being in denial is a bit pathetic, but like everything else, if two or three other people are doing it too then it’s okay. Lucky then that the majority of nightclub patrons are experts in the art of being in denial and you will not feel alone or pathetic in your endeavour to ignore responsibility and routine.
ORDER TROPICAL FLAVOURED DRINKS
You can be a little creative with this one and spice it up whatever way you like as long as drinking this beverage makes you feel like you should be doing the hula, on a beach, surrounded by coconuts, playing bongos. If in doubt, stick to stereotypical tropical choices like coconut and pineapple and stay as far away from whatever you would imagine you would be drinking alone on a Wednesday to get yourself through the rest of the working week. Points for using your taste buds to take a momentary holiday.
TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF
I don’t condone this in any way, nor do I believe it will help your chances of scoring, but this is very ‘holiday’ behaviour and if you do this you will give convincing evidence that you are in the midst of a vacation because look how free spirited you are.
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PUBLIC HOLIDAYS/RDO
Getting wasted during the week is obvious proof that you are a) on holidays or b) excessively irresponsible and/or have a drinking problem. One solid night of hitting the drink can be all you need to convince yourself that you continue to live in the limbo between NYE and Australia Day and are entitled to consume copious amounts of alcohol on whatever day you feel.
PRETEND YOU’VE BEEN AT THE BEACH
Seat salt spray, fake tan (done well. Don’t wing it), and putting your bathers on instead of wearing real underwear is all it takes for a convincing ‘I’m definitely on holidays because all I have done is sit around at the beach and splash playfully in the waves’ look.
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