The Nice Guys Guide To Bars and NIghtclubs

Let’s face it guys: bars and nightclubs are not a place for the shy, quiet, and nice. Nightlife is a time when laughter, drinks, and inappropriateness rule all, and for a nice guy that can be a little hard to compete with. Women everywhere, wearing almost nothing, guys twice your size dancing and drinking so much you wonder how their liver hasn’t shut down yet…it’s easy to fade away into the background. But don’t worry, nice guys: there’s a few things that you can do to ensure that you have a good night out and also don’t disappear off the face of the clubbing scene entirely for that night.
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Drunk Kisses In Bars and Nightclubs… Do They Count?

Everyone has done it before: you go into bars and nightclubs, drink a little bit, and then – out of nowhere – you’re kissing a total stranger…or even worse, your friend. We all like to pretend that these drunk kisses in the middle of the night don’t mean anything, but the truth is these kisses have the power to make your friendship awkward. At the very least, they can leave you with a “Why did I do that?!” thought running through your head for the entire next day.
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4 Bar and Nightclub Pickup Tips

It’s happened to us all at one time or another. It’s 3am and the dance floor of your favourite bar or nightclub is slowly getting emptier as punters make their way home (be it by themselves or with a “friend” they’ve just met). As 3.30am approaches, the lights get turned on and you and your friends are ushered from the bar or nightclub by a strangely polite bouncer. Inevitably the discussion turns to a guy or a girl that was looking at you, silently inviting you to strike up a conversation, but as is the case so often, you failed to act and will spend the taxi ride home pondering what could have been.
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Are You Too Hot To Pickup!?!?

One of the most interesting phenomenon we talk about in the office is the counter intuitive idea that girls that are too hot don’t seem to ever meet anyone at the clubs…

At first glance, this just might seem about as likely as bouncers being polite at the door of an exclusive nightclub, however we’ve done a bit of investigation and as it turns out, there might be a bit of truth to this fable…

After reading through a number of dating/pickup/psychology sites, it turns out that this is a well known part of human relationships (more specifically the courting process) and is particularly obvious at the club.

To understand this, you need to take a step back and realise that nightclubs are essentially the “mating grounds” of the human kingdom. Plentiful supplies of eligible guys and girls, with lowered inhibitions in an atmosphere thick with hormones and pheromones oozing from men an women of the opposite sex just waiting for their chance to pounce…

And there in lies the key to this phenomenon… “chance.”

Everyone who’s ever read a book or watched a documentary knows the concept of an alpha male and alpha female… If you don’t, then you have have bigger problems then picking up. What you might not know about this concept is that whilst in peer groups, there is generally an established hierarchy, at a bar or nightclub full of strangers, this hierarchy is non existent. Nobody knows who’s who in the zoo.

As males are generally the ones who initiate interaction with the opposite sex, the resident peer group alpha male, is all of a sudden uncertain of his place within the zoo, and thus unlikely to take a chance in potentially losing his status (or perceive losing) as alpha male by getting rejected. Accordingly, alpha males are unlikely to be willing to approach those who they determine are alpha females…


Men view the hottest girl in a group as the Alpha Female (abbreviated explanation but accurate nonetheless)…

Anyways, if you are still skeptical, check out this accurate, but slightly creepy video…

What Type Of Nightclub Guy Are You?

Guys in bars and nightclubs are always a mystery to the girls. One minute guys can be all over you, and the next minute he will run to another girl or leave you without asking for your number. The trick to help avoid getting totally confused, lost and helpless in situations like these is to recognize the different types of guys in bars and nightclubs so that you know which ones to avoid and which ones to invest your time in. To help save you time and effort with guys, here are a few more types of some guys you will come across in bars and nightclubs.

1. The smooth guy

He pays for your drinks, winks without it looking stupid or dodgy, and makes your heart flutter with how damn cool he is. This guy is suave, and he knows it. Before you decide to run away because you think he’s secretly a sleaze, remember: if nothing else, this guy can give you a good night, and make you look…well, cool. The best way to approach him is with a one-liner, or if he comes to you, be a little more mysterious and coy. With this approach, you make yourself feel like you’re at his level of ‘suave-ness’ and also generate a little more interest from him. Whether or not he’s genuine is a different story, but the best way to think about him is as a one-night fling…anything else is a bonus.

2. The shy guy

If there is ever a bigger challenge for the girls at bars and nightclubs, it’s this: the good looking shy guy. He catches your attention from the moment you look at him, and his quietness only intrigues you more. Shy guys can be the most difficult but the most awesome person you meet in bars and nightclubs: once he gets out of his shell, he’s normally a great, funny, caring guy. With the shy guy, it is often better to be a little more forward: ask him questions about himself, and ask for his number. Don’t worry if you feel like you’re talking too much; unless you talk at a hundred miles a minute, it probably makes him feel more comfortable. If nothing else, the shy guy will always be a great friend.

3. That guy that just won’t give up

The one guy that I find the most frustrating in bars and nightclubs is the one that just doesn’t get it. You tell him you don’t want to dance, he just hangs around you and your girlfriends. You tell him that you don’t want to talk to him, he just stands beside you. This guy will most definitely be a downer on your night, and only two methods work: be straight up, or run away. Either tell him in the most blunt, bitchy way possible that you want him to leave you alone, or say you need to go to the Ladies room and then run out of the club when he’s looking away. It may seem a little bit hard core, but trust me: the trouble you go to to get rid of him is a lot less trouble than if you let him hang around.

So the next time you see a guy or are approached by one, keep these types of guys in mind and you will save yourself a lot of stress, energy, and brain power. Your time can instead be spent on what God intended women to do: dance, flirt, and have a hell of a lot of fun.

10 Things Women Wished Men Knew About Picking Up

While browsing the internet, I stumbled upon an article from Men’s Health Magazine online, titled 50 Things Men Wish Women Knew. So out of curiosity, I read it (us females are ALWAYS trying to figure out what goes on inside the mind of a mere male, so naturally I was going to read it!) From my many years of engaging with the opposite sex, I can admit, most of them were true. I actually found it quite refreshing to not see any cliché general comments like  ”we like sexy lingerie and blow-jobs”. This inspired me to create my own list: “10 Things Women Wish Men Knew About Picking Up”

  1. DON’T ask us for our number if you have no intention of calling; it will save us from constantly looking at our phones and we’d rather you were just straight with us.
  2. On the first encounter, lay off the cheesy/sleazy pick-up lines – they only work if they’re really funny, and in the right situations.
  3. If you spot us from across the room, a simple smile goes a long way (however, if we smile back it doesn’t mean you’re in, we might just be being polite).
  4. If you think groping us before you even know our name will get you anywhere – think again!
  5. If we say we’ve got a boyfriend, don’t continue with sentences like “that’s ok, he doesn’t have to know” or “invite him along”. We’re with them for a reason. Oh and definitely don’t say “that’s ok, I’ve got a missus” (this has actually happened to me!)
  6. If we’re dancing in a circle with our girlfriends and you come try and dance with us and we cock block you out of the circle – don’t keep trying to get back in, just don’t.
  7. If you do manage to have a dance with us, don’t stand on our feet, it’s a real turn off, especially if it keeps happening… me, if we’re wearing heels our feet will be suffering enough already!
  8. If you want to hook up with us, don’t forget our name. And don’t blame it on the loud music, exorbitant amount of alcohol or anything else; it just says to us that you’re not interested enough to even remember who we are.
  9. If you’re wearing clothes tighter than us, this includes jeans or t-shirts; you’re not off to a good start.
  10. This last one is a big no no. If you’ve tried to crack on to one of our good mates and she’s rejected you, don’t try with us. We’ve seen what’s gone down; and no girl wants to be somebody’s second choice.

Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus – Let’s Keep it that Way!

Check out this video, its pretty freakin’ funny and it makes you realise that boys and girls are the way they are for a reason!

Music to make lurve to

Music. It’s more essential to any club than the club itself. It’s what we dictate the dance to and tells us where to spend our night. Personally I’m a massive fan of dubstep, mainly because it reminds me of straining out a big AGB and who doesn’t like a good poop after a night out of drinking! Unfortunately for me, dubstep is not music to pick up people with vagina’s (for the opposite sex: people with pee pee penises). It’s a harsh sound that demands your attention, there is no time to go lady hunting while you’re trying to stop a stool from rushing out your brown sun. The following is a perfect example of what music you need to avoid to have any chance of getting with a lady.

Luckily, there is a whole bunch of genre’s that will increase your chances scoring and get you all pumped up for the night ahead. Music that the ladies seem to love and keeps everyone in high spirits is anything Top 40. They’ll deny it as much as they want but when the Gagmeister starts pumping on the speakers everyone will be telling you they were born that way. When the following song gets played in a club – get to the dance floor and start creeping. It may be your only shot. Also, if anything by Pitbull or Ja-ayson Der-rulo comes on you should instantly react and sing every single word and give fiercely sexual looks at every girl you see.

Electro is a difficult one, it’s fast and gets people moving – but offers little opportunity to sexy dance up on someone. You really have to focus on not looking like a tardburger so you have no time to court. My advice would be just to soak up the atmosphere get pumped and wait for the inevitable JAYsun De-e-e-rulo feat Lil John feat Pitbull feat Dave Guetta feat Chris Brown to come on.

Old school rap and r n b offers plenty of opportunity to sexy dance and impress the opposite sex with your knowledge of the lyrics and singing skills. Singing to Destiny’s Child will almost certainly get you laid. If you add in booty shaking – you’re headed straight to orgy town. Nelly is a great example. Sing grillz to a girl and she will be your boo for years to come.

80′s music is the ultimate music to improve your chances of picking up. The songs are full of hidden meaning, the theme is generally always love (or robots) and they are upbeat enough to dance to or slow enough to make frizzy haired love to. If a girl says no to you while this song is playing in the background, she doesn’t deserve you.

Music to Pick Up to

This may be slightly obvious but there are certain types of music that are better when trying to pick up members of the opposite sex. As mentioned in previous blog, romantic songs can increase a man’s chance of picking up a lady. Also mentioned in previous blog was that music probably does not help girls when it comes to picking up guys (male, as a rule, are simple creatures – he’s either into it or he’s not) Therefore I cannot comment on what kinds of music a girl could use to her advantage when trying to hook up; but I can however give my own opinions on what girls like; as I am of the female species.

Romantic songs – scientifically proven to be a winner with the women. Having said that, if I first meet a guy and he puts on Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing it may freak me out, because EVERYONE knows what THAT song means.

Crazy punk rock grunge music – put simply, this kind of music is only good if you’re trying to put the moves on a punk/rock/grungy head-banging kinda girl.

R&B – great for the dance floor. A lil bit of Usher and a bit of bump and grind and you’re on your way! Also great for the bedroom where you guys can show us what other moves you have.

Hip Hop – if you’re a good hip-hop dancer, you’re guaranteed to pick up in a club. In fact, I once saw a midget (sorry, I mean virtically-challenged) guy hip-hop dancing at a club and he had scores of ladies around him! Girls LOVE a guy who know how to dance, and hip-hop is the perfect genre of music to show off those moves.

Latin – it’s a win, win situation – if you’re Latin you’ll automatically be sexy and exotic; and if you’re not, she’ll still think you’re cultured and interesting (you get double points if you know the words!)

Music Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Music can do insane things – affect our moods; make us happy, sad, nostalgic, angry, and even pumped up – ready to take on the world! It can increase stamina when working out, improve the intelligence of unborn foetuses, and has been said to inspire criminals to commit acts of violence (not yet proven in a court of law). So if music can do all of that, then what affect could it have when trying to pick up a member of the opposite sex?

Well the Mail Online reckons a French study found that if you want to ask a women out on a date, she will be twice as likely to say yes if she’d listened to a romantic song five minutes prior to the invitation. So for all you boys out there who have your eye on somebody you’ve wanted to ask out, but haven’t had the guts to yet – simply add music and you’re twice as likely not to get rejected! Simple hey. Well not quiet; I mean this could be an issue if you’re in Church or doing your grocery shopping. However, these obstacles can be overcome by A. Hi-jacking the Church quire, B. a load speaker or C. Carrying a boom box around on your shoulder at all times.

Unfortunately girls, the effects romantic music has on men has not been as well researched. Yet. However, this smart psychologist dude – Adrian North – said that if you do decide to try this experiment on your own, all the men would probably say yes to a date. Therefore you should only ask out men whom you actually want to go out on date with – romantic music or not.

There is another school of thought that reckons guys who play instruments are considered to have more ‘pulling power’ than those that don’t; while women who play a musical instrument don’t – however that’s a topic for a whole other blog….

Below are some interesting articles on music and its affects on certain things in the body: