Winging it
Both the act of courting members of the opposite sex and the attempt of loyal, kindhearted friends to subtly smooth the road to success, also known as “wing manning” has been practiced for centuries.
Almost as long as there has been gender in equality.
So now, we find ourselves in the 21st century, with race discriminations virtually abolished, gay marriage is becoming legal in many countries and us in Australia have our first woman prime minister (stop snickering). Yet the practice of wing manning still remains an exclusively ‘male’ activity and many women are dissuaded from engaging in the practice.
To what avail? Is it really that girls simply cannot make good wing men people? Or is this a prejudice and outdated convention that has yet to be modified to suit modernity…?
The current definition of a “wingman” according to urbandictionary.com
“A Wingman is a buddy that takes care of the ugly fat friend who is always standing two feet next to the hot chick you want to get with. The Wingman is also responsible for going along with any lies you may tell during the evening. If you say you are from Italy and are just visiting for the weekend your Wingman is forced to back up that story and any other lies you tell the hot chick.”
Inherently precludes women from the practice. Key terms “buddy” “takes care” and “fat ugly friend” particularly conflict with the nature of girls and how they interact. Firstly, girls are never “buddies” with guys, unless it they are playing the figurative ‘cheek’ card, (where you avoid hooking up with a guy by politely declining and as a consolation offering your services as a wing man or matchmaker with one of your less hot acquaintances), secondly girls don’t ever really feel inclined to “take care” of any unfortunate looking person unless obliged because they are BFF’s because any girl knows the “you just haven’t met the right guy yet…no there are boys out there who wont just love you for your perky butt, or lack there of” speech requires LOTS of effort and lies and smiling to be convincing.
Unless you’re a lesbian.
And the fat ugly friend would, by chance, have to swing that way too.
However, depending on the guy and their personal pick up style, the requirements of the wingman may differ in specific circumstances. The role of the d-floor wingman, for instance, is not to speak to or explicitly occupy one friend, but to section of the selected girl and attempt to create a dance barrier between the other girls so that the mate and the hottie are able to be alone.
The source of this strategy explained, “girls cant be good wingmen, what group of girls is going to stay occupied when another girl comes up and dances with them? And girls always mess it up anyway and end up cockblocking you.”
While other characteristically ‘masculine’ activities such as military participation, being the main breadwinner in the household and being acceptably promiscuous have been successfully conquered by the female race it appears that wing manning is applicable, in terms of effectiveness, to only the male members of the population.
Unless Julia Gillard is man enough to make it legislation.
