Coming to terms with your illness.
So you’ve confirmed it by changing your relationship status on facebook, and you’ve brought them home to meet your parents… I is us and me is now we because you’ve got a boooyyyyffrrriiieennndddd, (or alternatively a giiirrrllllffrriieeenndd).
It may be all hunky-dory and lovely in theory, but did you ever consider how being someone’s other half would affect how you club?
As nice as would be to be able to honestly say the majority of people going out to nightclubs are there to have a good time with some good, clean, wholesome fun! (and by good, clean and wholesome I am referring to abstinent activities), I cant actually say that without lying. Because boys do only want one thing and girls know they can use that “thing” to get drinks brought for them and be lavished with attention.
Thus, any of those brave souls who go out clubbing without their bf or gf are may as well carry a huge flashing sign around saying “DON’T TALK TO ME! I’VE GOT A REALLY HORRIBLE, INFECTIOUS DISEASE. IT’S BETTER FOR BOTH OF US IF YOU JUST IGNORE ME AND PAY ATTENTION TO MY SINGLE FRIENDS.”
Well that’s no fun.
And the only cure for that disease is to adhere to the “don’t ask don’t tell policy,” ie your not present boy/girlfriend does not exist until explicitly asked by the other party whether you do actually have a boy/girlfriend. Also the other parties assumption that you are DTF has absolutely nothing to do with you.
I mean, you can’t walk around a nightclub trying to communicate to every person who so much as offers you a suggestive look, “OH, I’M ACTUALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP, ITS LIKE FULLY SERIOUS NOW. THEY ARENT ACTUALLY HERE JUST NOW BUT IT WOULD PROBABLY BE IMMORAL IF I LET YOU KEEP THINKING I WAS KEEN. BECUAUSE IM NOT KEEN. SORRY. MAYBE IF I WAS SINGLE?” Jeeze, that’s an awkward thing to say in a situation where people can actually hear you properly, let alone in a nightclub where you can never actually hear anyone and a large majority are too gone to even listen.
Everything that was previously commonplace at a nightclub now comes into question. How close is too close to dance? What is considered flirting? If some sexy, keen, dreamy babe comes up and forces themselves upon you how can you prove to your beloved that you actually did try to deflect them?
Not to mention your next guilt trip because you have now become a handicap to your single friends. Like if three of you go out and they get picked up, what are they supposed to do with you? Take turns playing ‘babysit the taken friend’.
Why cant we all just get along? Why oh why can’t we all just be more tolerant and accepting of those individuals who aren’t prowling the nightclubs looking for their next conquest?
lol
You know what they say…their just jealous
