Dodgy Song #1: Ice Ice Baby
Every now and then I’m going to write about songs that are popular at parties, bars, and nightclubs that have bad or “dodgy” lyrics or sounds or any other dodgy things in them. It can be anything what’s on the Top 40 at the time or a classic partying/clubbing song, ones that get all the drunks singing along late at night or when you’re by yourself driving around. It also gives me the chance to bag songs I don’t like.
My first one may seem like an obvious choice, but that’s preciously why I chose ‘Ice Ice Baby’ by Vanilla Ice. It is daggy, funny (albeit unintentionally), and is just plain catchy, and since most people are aware of the stigma this song has, it gives you a much clearer idea of what I’m getting at. For those who have been living under a rock for the past 21 years, or who just simply wanna hear whitey getting down, here’s the music video.
If someone really drove a 5.0 around a rough neighbourhood (how does a guy from the ‘hood afford a car like that?! Probably stole it.) like the one in the video, he wouldn’t be the cool guy he thinks he is. He’d get mugged and have his car stolen for sure! The dancing looks like they are in an aerobics class. At 1:56, what’s with the changing colours? Did the camera’s contrast stuff up when they filmed this video? I guess the Asian chick spraying “ICE” onto the camera lens really brought production values down. Speaking of her, that Asian chick is fuckin’ hot! The way she licks that ice cream… Oooh…
Let’s examine some of the lyrics:
‘Rollin’ in my 5.0, With my rag-top down so my hair can blow’. With that much gel in his hair, Ice shouldn’t worry about that.
‘The girlies on standby waving just to say hi, Did you stop no I just drove by’. What kind of rapper doesn’t try to chat up chicks in the street while driving a sweet ride? I’m assuming the only girls who’d hit on Vanilla Ice were hookers trying to make a quick fuck, I mean buck. But then Ice goes, ‘Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue, Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis’. So he does want to hook up with chicks? I guess they got to be pretty much naked to get the Ice Man’s attention.
‘Take heed ’cause I’m a lyrical poet’. So this is why everyone keeps comparing rap to poetry!
‘Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja’ (a prelude to Ice’s other song ‘Ninja Rap’?)
‘I grabbed my nine all I heard were shells, Falling on the concrete real fast, Jumped in my car slammed on the gas’. This is as graphic drive-by shootings in rap songs got circa 1990.
The effect of kids being influenced by evil, offensive rap songs.
Speaking of that year, I want to state again that ‘Ice Ice Baby’ was released in 1990, NOT in the 1980s like everyone thinks it was! It clearly states “© 1990” at the end of the music video. Even the game Singstar ‘80s has ‘Ice Ice Baby’ on it, though it isn’t from that decade! That’s like putting ‘Twist and Shout’ by The Beatles on So Fresh Winter 2011!
Another bit of confusion this song caused was from its bass line. It clearly ripped off the bass line from the Queen song ‘Under Pressure’. I say confusion because whenever you hear the intro to either song, you don’t know which song it is! This very same situation happens whenever either ‘Thank You’ by Dido or ‘Stan’ by Eminem play.
If this song proves anything, it’s that Vanilla Ice isn’t pretty fly for a white guy.
Matt Wilson
