Dealer or No Dealer
After all that ranting, I mean discussion, about the Ecstasy: Face Facts campaign, it is only natural I rant a bit about the very folks who bring clubbers these pills from the dirty, dingy kitchen to let all the flavours burst in your mouth (oh wait, that’s Starburst). Anyway, I’m of course talking about drug dealers.
Cameras are becoming really expensive apparently.
A group of people Amy Winehouse was all too familiar with until her recent demise, most people think drug dealers all appear like the hooded camera distributor above. Like STIs, you never know who has drugs. When out clubbing, any one of the other patrons could be an amateur chef specialising in entrees made out of hair bleach, battery acid and the such during the day. (Now you know what’s in ecstasy, unlike the government who think you don’t!). At least the dickhead ravers who look like a bad student in an aerobics class have seen a dealer. Here’s a funny example of how a drug deal might go (apparently drug dealers get really defensive!):
I remember once at Billboard, I was waiting at one of the benches while my friends were getting drinks, and some guy came up to me and asked if I or any of my friends want eckies. I said no and the guy was about to walk off, but then my friends got back and one of them said hey to the dealer and then introduced him to me, my friend having no idea what just happened. Awkward!
There was also the time I was at Parklife when some guy asked me if my friends and I had eckies. After saying no, he showed me the secret hand shake to do with drug dealers to score eckies, which was basically moving your hands around in a real gangsta looking way. The guy said it was guaranteed to work, though I didn’t get a 12 month warranty on it. So you if see some people at a rave festival or nightclub doing strange hand signals, it’s probably not sign language.
I guess Smarties and lollies don't cut it with the kids anymore (though these products have been cut).
The life of a drug dealer would be quite a risky one at times. Having to be careful no one sees you do the deal, not getting ripped off, making sure your product isn’t being misrepresented in government anti-drug campaigns. Got to feel sorry for these shady characters of the night. On the old version of the Bars and Nightclubs website on the Melbourne page, there was a description of Melbourne’s nightlife and it said something to the effect of, ‘You know you’re in a party town when there are police sniffer dogs all around the streets’. Talk about a backhanded compliment!
Below is more or less the craziness of the lives of drug dealers and their customers (quite a few of them being celebrities; so why isn’t Amy Winehouse in it? Oh, right).
Matt Wilson
