Buff guys cocks get smaller while their cockiness goes up
I finally got to play Duke Nukem Forever, a game that not only took a ridiculous 12 years to make (seriously!), but depicts the titular muscle bound hero as the ultimate ladies man who has babes throwing themselves at him and all offering to root him. This got me thinking about whether real girls get so quickly wooed by the bumpy armed he-men they see at nightclubs who are only a bedroom away from living at the gym.
Hail to the king baby!
For those who haven’t played this game, here’s how all the female characters react whenever Duke’s around, which is more or less how muscly guys reckon chicks act when they’re strutting their stuff:
I can’t imagine those with vaginas liking being depicted like screaming teenage girls who have just seen Justin Bieber walk past, but that’s how a lot of buff guys genuinely believe women act around them.
When it’s a buff boys night out, they all put on their tight tees to show off not just their muscles, but more importantly their egos. In fact, the main reason these guys pump iron and steroids is to set themselves apart from the crowd to become the alpha males. A lot of these guys’ main pastime is working out (they actually do it for fun!) They don’t really dance at clubs because it’s not “manly”, but that changes once a lass comes their way and the dirty dancing begins. This is because, besides trying to one up their mates by saying they bench 30kgs more than the others do, buff guys also talk themselves up when bragging to their mates about some “mint” girl who looked their way and (according to the Arnie wannabe) got said chick to feel their pointy veins, and I don’t necessarily mean the ones on their arms!
He may have big muscles, but the steroids have made his most important muscle very small.
You gotta love how arrogant these guys are. Whenever they see another guy who’s competition for them with a girl, they automatically gotta go up to them and flex their muscles before going, ‘Hey, this is my girl, bro! I’ll smash ya if you don’t fuck off!’ Once said wimp buggers off, the buff guy’s ego skyrockets while the skinnier males glare at them, wanting these guys just to piss off.
In Duke Nukem Forever, Duke has an ego bar rather than a health bar to indicate how much life he has. Perhaps this is how it is for the aforementioned dickheads whose life is 95% gym.
Matt Wilson
Zyah says:
Articles like this are an example of quick, helpful answres.
August 17th, 2011 at 10:10 am