The newly licensed driver
There’s nothing in the clubbing world quite like the jingling keys of a designated driver. Fortunately for us, the newly licensed driver is a clubbing clique who gets their kicks out of strapping in seat belts and flashing that horrible identification card.
Habitat: The newly licensed driver’s clubbing destination knows no bounds. If there was ever a time for asking your mate to drive you an hour or more away to experience how the other half party, now is the time. Eager and itching to clock those unsupervised driving hours, and (not) stretch those independant legs from the confines of the clutch and accelorator, the newly licensed driver will say yes to any distance. Goodbye taxi fares, hello friendly exploitation.
The newly licensed driver’s top 3 nightclubs:
- Chinese Laundry, Sydney *If the newly licensed driver lives in Melbourne
- Family nightclub, Brisbane *If the newly licensed driver lives in Sydney
- Mint nightclub, Perth *If the newly licensed driver lives in Queensland
Physical attributes:
The newly licensed driver is easily spotted in a room where sobriety is rare. Beaming eyes scream ‘Red Bull’, while a composed and neat outfit reveals their lack of self destruction.
The newly licensed driver’s top 3 trends:
- Car keys dangling from fingertips (You just never know when those services may be needed)
- Flat shoes (While the newly licensed driver has mastered the clutch and accelerator, they are still incompetent in the fine art of stiletto heeled driving… all in time)
- Not cloaking the large trench coat (“Nah, I won’t cloak it… Never know when we’ll need to jump in the car and head home” - friend cringes ensue)
Their goal:
To provide their friends with a personalised driving service that is preferrable to cab drivers (not too hard of a feat given body odour and overpriced fairs)
How to fit in with the newly licensed driver:
Introduce yourself and ask for a lift. The newly licensed driver will react to this new found attention with a Macca’s drive through on the way home. Oh the novelty.
How to avoid the newly licensed driver:
List the latest probationary driving laws for your state from A-Z.
The newly licensed driver’s drink of choice:
“I’ll have a Jager Bomb… Hold the Jager, I’m driving” (cringe).
Sophie Lane
Earthwind says:
Smack-dab what I was lkoonig for-ty!
August 12th, 2011 at 2:06 pm