The muso
In overcrowded venues full of smashed glasses, techno ravers and desperate d-cups it can often be hard to claim attention from the one you’re eyeing off across the room. The muso, quiet and unkempt, shy and sure- is ironically talented in doing just that. As they sip their Rokorderlig from across the room with self assured smoothness, those sleazy slappas surrounding them just don’t seem to compare.
Habitat: The muso, as charming as he or she may be, is often pretentious in their choice of recreational venues. Avoiding the cliche that is the ‘clubbing’ world, the muso prefers an understated few (insert obscure alcoholic beverage here)’s, before moving on back to their share house for a few more drinks in a comfortable distance from their guitar. Regardless of their ability in the ripping of riffs, the muso knows that calculated placement of a musical instrument in their home can aid in the ripping of, er, panties.
The muso’s top 3 nightclubs:
- The Night Cat, Fitzroy VIC
- The Rochester, VIC
- The Carlton Club, VIC
Physical attributes: Easily identified, the muso’s quest to be identified as an ‘individual’, ironically subscribes them to the conformist subculture they so readily hate.
The ‘muso’s’ top three trends:
- Hair which is longer than their arty girlfriend’s pixie cut. It’s all about breaking conformist values (by copying the latest cover of Rolling Stone), man.
- Jeans which are one size smaller than their girlfriend’s. (The skinny leg just got skinner)
- Thick rimmed glasses (they need these to read the label of their beverage and make sure no animals were harmed in the brewing process).
Their goal: The muso’s goal is to seduce you with promises of Lennon-esque talents, get you drunk, and then take you home and never demonstrate those musical abilities. Let’s face it, they’ll be too busy ‘strumming’ you anyway.
How to fit in with the muso:
Mention a strong hatred for Mark David Chapman whilst holding your very own copy of Catcher in The Rye.
How to avoid the muso:
Repeat after me: “Baby I was born this way”
The muso’s drink of choice:
Anything imported. They need a beverage that bears the same origins as their favourite band… Oh never mind, you wouldn’t have heard of them.
Sophie Lane
Lettice says:
Kudos! What a neat way of tihnikng about it.
August 12th, 2011 at 8:03 pm