If you’re at uni you are, or will be at some stage during the next two weeks, enduring SWOT VAC or some other form of study week you are supposed to seize before your wretched exams. This has been my study week.
GET EXCITED MEMBERS OF THE COMMONWEALTH…Because it’s time for the biggest party of the year at Humpday vs. Wah Wah. No, not New Years Eve because if you’re single and alone that shizz is depresso. And it’s not Mardi Gras either, because straight people just can’t party as hard enough to make the cut.
So, like, what are you doing in June? As if you know right, June starts soon, so might as well start planning your retirement. But, actually there is plenty of stuff to do in June… and all in one place! Prince of Wales Saturday is back with a new stripper name but the same signature tricks.
It’s that time of year again…when you stop seeing men wearing sandals with socks, and people aren’t walking around the supermarket with sunglasses on and all the eyebrows you see are proportioned. Thats right amigos, all the wogs are going into hibernation this weekend because the worlds best and most competitive song contest
Dear fellow ladies, I may not know you personally, but, I know you. I know your struggles and your insecurities and all that general female stuff that comes in the package deal. I also, and especially, know how much it sucks when you spend 2930248209484 infinite hours getting beautiful to go out and then no one hits on you. What a slap in the face. What an insult
Lots of people have lots of time to complain about the amount of alcohol people drink, and how our generation are degenerate and have no values and blah blah blah, pretty much everyones got issues with us making the most of our weekend. (I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job or anything, but maybe you should start worrying about global
Alcohol’s ability to turn ordinary citizens into superheroes is severely underrated. Alcohol is great because it unleashes your inner qualities of awesomeness. It’s not like drugs that trick you into thinking you are actually an Avenger, and you’re amazing and can fly or whatever.
Wasting the best part of your pre drinks waiting, in the cold, to get into a club is enough to make you turn and vow to stay home and never go out again. It’s boring, frustrating… probably the thing that sets guys off and start fights with each other, anti-climatic and the biggest kill joy next to obligation and responsibility and ticket inspectors (boo).
As much as it pains me, I have to admit the fact that there is actually a legit reason to dislike Melbourne. There’s just one reason, but it is a big, fat, stupid one and we all have to deal with it…The boy/girl ratio at clubs.The fact that most of our nightclubs are unscrupulous and pretentious about turning away good lads without ladies has not eluded us.
“ummmmm, I’m probably definitly a fun drunk. Or like a crazy, sexy-funny drunk.” Who are we trying to kid? Nobody is like that when they are drunk, everybody turns into a loud, clumsy singer who cannot grasp the concept of personal space when they get on the booze. Really, if I was a fun-crazy-sexy-funny-I-live-in-cabo-and-am-like-totesamaze