Have you ever been out partying when the DJ calls your name and says: “(Insert name here), this song is dedicated to you!” – after which one of the most embarrassing songs in history comes blaring through the speakers?
Everyone starts looking around the crowd trying to spot you, wondering why the hell such a ridiculous song would be dedicated to you. Is it your favourite song? Is it a private joke? Do you just have really bad taste in music?
Whatever the reason, there are some songs that you should just not dedicate to your mate at a club. Here is a list of some of the worst songs to have dedicated to you…
1. ‘I Touch Myself’ by The Divinyls
While you may choose to take it as a compliment that a person ‘touches themselves’ when thinking about you, this song might also be interpreted to mean that you’re actually the one who touches yourself. When you think about it that way, it’s almost like being called a wanker.
2. Anything by Britney Spears
Enough said.
3. ‘Stacey’s Mom’ by Fountains Of Wayne
This one only counts for people named Stacey – because no one wants to think of their mother in that way.
4. ‘Not Fair’ by Lily Allen
‘Not Fair’ by Lily Allen is the ultimate insult to the male kind, particularly if it’s dedicated to a guy from their girlfriend. It’s a deceiving song that sounds polite enough until you listen a little harder and realise someone is trying to tell you you’re shit in bed…and now everyone in the club knows too.
5. ‘Everything About You’ by Ugly Kid Joe
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.
6. ‘Axel F’ by Crazy Frog
If this song starts playing at a club and you’re the one responsible, it’s almost guaranteed that people will turn on you and kill you and you will die a horribly violent death. I’d go as far as to say it’s one of the most annoying songs in history.
7. Anything by One Direction
I know we all secretly love 1D, but it’s not socially acceptable to tell people that in public so save the sing-along till you’re in the privacy of your own home.
8. A Mariah Carey Power Ballad
This diva’s ballads should only be dedicated to loved ones on those romantic radio shows with a special “Love Song Dedications” segment.
9. Anything by Justin Bieber
The Beebz used to be a cutey pie. What happened? I am no longer a ‘Belieber,’ and you shouldn’t be one either. This guy just keeps getting more ‘douchey’ as the days go by. And no, I’m not sure if ‘douchey’ is an actual word, but if Bieber can have an animal print car, I can use any word I want!
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