So you’ve almost turned 18? Sweet! Now I can cut to the chase and give you honest insight about the crazy world of clubbing. Just brace yourself-some of this shit could be perceived to be a little full on!
For Girls Only:
Guys will try their absolute hardest to get into your pants-and some can be quite persistent. But if you’re a smart cookie, you can use this to your advantage.
You know that there are sleaze-bags everywhere you go, whether it’s the shops or the beach, but a nightclub is the where you’ll find a shitload! You don’t have to be standing around long to grab the attention of some random. If you don’t like the attention, a simple stop-fucking-looking-at-me look should be enough to scare your predators away, but if you like exploiting the system, then here’s your chance to get you and your friends shitfaced for the price of nothing!
Lines to the bathroom are going to longer than the line you were in to get inside so be prepared to use desperate measures.
To use the bathroom will be one agonisingly long wait-unless you improvise! So don’t let a couple of blokes pissing next to a vacant urinal turn you off from expelling your bodily waste!
For Guys Only:
Girls will make it extremely hard for you to pick them up-cheesy pick-up lines and dickhead-dancing will most likely get you rejected!
Don’t be somebody else and try hard with stupid shit that’s only going to embarrass you and your friends. If you really want to pick-up somebody, BE YOURSELF, don’t be too overconfident and crack a joke or two-most women love funny guys.
Just by solely bumping into the wrong person could get you into a brawl.
Your old friends, your arms, shoulders and elbows could be an inadvertent instigator to pissing some juice-head right off. Some people at nightclubs can be extremely irritable, especially while they’re drunk, so try your best to avoid making any contact with anybody. Period.
For both sexes:
There’s going to be a shit-load of people everywhere. If you’re claustrophobic, you might want to bring some Xanax with you.
Nightclubs can get extremely crammed and stuffy! Don’t be fooled by the movies you’ve seen where it seems like there’s always room to roam around-because often or not there will be barely any and the next you know it’ll be like being stuck on a train-in peak hour-under somebody’s stinking armpit!
Make the most out of any place you go to.
This is the most important thing to know! The last thing you want to experience is a shit night. But this can all be avoided if you go into a venue with the right positive mentality. So tear shit up on the dance floor, have a drink or two, chat up some random or do whatever is fun to you! You’ve got nothing to lose except for your dignity and your reputation!
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