If you’re at uni you are, or will be at some stage during the next two weeks, enduring SWOT VAC or some other form of study week you are supposed to seize before your wretched exams. This has been my study week.
Wake up like I’ve been up all night
Eat (in bed)
Get out my laptop and open up my revision (still in bed)
Nap
Eat (bed)
Watch Ellen (bed)
Fall asleep
… and if I get one practice question done during the course of the day I give myself a pat on the back and have a cookie to celebrate.
All this and I haven’t even been hungover yet. Although we are having a collectively shit one, we can still have our cake and eat it. Since I am so academic and studious, here are some handy exam prep hints you can refer to when you are hungover or are planning to get sloshed close to exam day
1. Remember, a night out will cost you the whole next day
Plan for this! Cutting loose on Saturday night doesn’t just mean you’re busy from 7pm - 4am, you have to consider sleeping in and pretty much devoting the better part of your day to eating, moping, finding out what happened last night and then regretting it. Forget productivity. Thus, if you are unlucky enough to have a Monday morning exam scheduled, it would be wise to confine your party to Friday so then you have Saturday to recover and Sunday to cram. Even if you have work the next day, it’s better to be hungover then because you don’t have much of a choice, you have to get stuff done. You’re also getting paid. Suck it up Princess.
2. Follow the drinking rules responsible people taught you
Now is not the time for rebellion. If your mum tells you to drink a glass of water between drinks, DO IT. Eat something substantial before you start poppin’ bottles, don’t drink out of your vodka bottle, don’t pretend you are Charlie Sheen or Snooki.
3. It has been proven that you can only memorise six things at one time
Revise accordingly. IE trying to electronically attend 12 weeks of skipped lectures over one weekend isn’t going to do it for you. Even if you are going out, be strategic and have your book open while you fake tan. Listen to lectures in the shower. Where theres a will, theres a way.
4. If all else fails, go with your gut feeling
No really. It has also been proven that when answering multiple choice questions usually the one you immedatley think is right actually is! Even if you’re not super duper sure. So if having a social life somehow outweighs your overwhelming desire to stay home and be a hermit with your book friends, you can probably wing it. (Don’t tell your mum I told you it was okay to do that)
Bonne chance amigos! Also, just so you know, this list was only four things long so you remember them all and still have two left for study.
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