You’re on a night out having fun with the girls. You’re looking good and you feel like you could have any guy you want. Ooh, that’s a cute ass, you’re thinking about the hottie standing at the bar. Then he turns around and BAM, there’s something about his outfit that has you thinking, ugh, what a douche! I’ve gathered my personal favourites of things that guys should not wear on a night out.
1. White Shoes
Whether they are big white sneakers from 2003 or your best white snakeskin dress shoes, leave them at home. They are ugly and girls are picky about what shoes a guy wears. Superficial? Yes, of course, but I know you’re judging my just-off-the-dancefloor hair as well. And white joggers? Don’t even talk to me or I will vomit on your shoes to save the general public from your disaster. Anyone who wears joggers with jeans should be arrested and thrown into fashion jail.
2. Loose Singlets And Oversized T-Shirts
On my Thursday night out this week, I witnessed some shocking outfit choices from guys. One was a singlet so loose that I was provided with not just a glimpse but a feature length show of nipple. Really? If I wanted to look at nipples, I would have stayed at home and looked at my own. And oversized t-shirts? Sweetheart, that shirt was so conservative you didn’t even need to wear pants. What ever happened to a nice fitted shirt?
3. Deep V-Necks
Boys, you are really disappointing me in the fashion department lately. I don’t want to see your chest hair or your lack of chest. You’re just making me sad.
4. Striped Polo Shirts
Please reserve these for the very young and the very old. Polo shirts in general are ugly, so do yourself a favour and pass on the stripes.
5. Sunglasses
If I’m finding it hard to see in this club, I can only imagine how you are faring with your sunglasses. Yes, maybe they are to hide your enormous pupils, but you still look like an idiot.
Tip: Boys, a pair of jeans with a nice t-shirt and Vans never fails.
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