ICBM Bar Review

Review By Tara Jane

The amount of times I’ve heard Baby Boomers talk about their unforgettable nights at the Private Bin are countless; a reputation unprecedented by any other nightclub in Canberra. According to mother it was ‘the place to go’ when you were growing up in Canberra during the 1980’s. “I met your father there” she said, reflecting fondly (or sadly, I couldn’t quite tell) on the years when ICBM was the Private Bin and perms were fashionable.

Fast track twenty odd years or so and the venue seems to have lost its memorable flavour. As you walk into ICBM, commonly referred to as ‘Itchy Bums’, you are greeted by the club’s main dance floor, which until about 11pm is filled with people wondering whether or not they are drunk enough to have started dancing. The awkward placement of the dance floor and its occupants instantly unsettles clientele who are required to manoeuvre across the floor in honour of finding a bar. As you walk up a small set of stairs you find the main drinking hole of the club. Unlike other trendy inner city clubs in the nation’s capital, ICBM doesn’t offer any mentionable style or atmosphere. The congo lines of girls in matching nurses’ outfits serve as an unwelcome distraction from the bleak run-of-the-mill decor encompassing the club.

Until the club hits its peak on a Saturday night at midnight, most of crowds like to loiter between the small bars littered across different floors. Upstairs is the ‘Players Bar’, featuring a pool table and small lounge area. The walls are decorated with sporting memorabilia which is the only notable ‘artwork’ on display at the venue. The line at this bar seems a lot quicker (when it is open) than the other bars and bar staff are quick to move on the hoards of men trying to chat them up. The area is crowded and unless you got there super early the single pool table is already being used. The Players bar and lower level bar provide some minimal seating, and the mood here is not suited to a catch up or intimate chat. The age seems to range from 18-30 but the early twenty somethings’ dominate the crowd.

ICBM is the type of club you go to if you are in the mood for a loud, trashy night. It’s best enjoyed in a big group who are in the mood for a groove and sing-a-long to Tubthumping and Eric Prydz’s rendition of Call on me. Guys go here mainly looking to pick up, and gals to sing a long to ‘Spice up your life’ whilst hoping to have a Pash ‘n’ Dash.

It hosts an eclectic range of drinks, specialising in pink pussy shots targeted at the many bogans who frequent the club who order the drink simply because they enjoy saying pussy to a female bartender. ICBM caters to your budget and impressively still has free entry. Thirsty Thursdays are the best night of the week, with $3 dollar basic spirits until 2am suited to the scores of students who frequent it on this night.

ICBM is the Tequila of night clubs; it seems like a good idea at the time, you don’t do it alone and you won’t be in a hurry to try it again. If you like teeny boppers, lame music and putting out you will enjoy your night here. If you like to meet interesting people, enjoy conversation and enjoy decent music you won’t. ICBM certainly doesn’t live up to the reputation of the Private Bin and one visit was certainly enough for me.

Highlights: Cheapish drinks free entry. Drawbacks: Lame music and the Bouncers (who are notorious here for ruining a night out).