This is the second part of a two part article on how to avoid drunkenness and squalor on your night out.
1. Energy And Fatigue
It’s very easy to wear yourself down when you’re out on the town. Like happiness and good cheer, alcohol can very often provide the sensation of abundant energy and vibrancy while only actually creating the illusion of it. Alcohol will allow you to stand for hours at a stretch, run around, get into fights, and (God forbid) dance. Yes, it will wear down the vodka’s effects, but it will haunt you the next day. Spend another night in a chair in front of the television or with a book and a cigarette, while consuming the same amount you had on your last night out and I promise you won’t feel as rotten the next day as you did when you returned home from the club. When out, try to sit down and rest as often as you can, and avoid the temptation (if you can) to dance.
Another way to not wear yourself out is to go to bed at a good time. In our youth, we were all tempted to prove our mettle by dragging ourselves into the early hours of the morning, dipping our lopsided heads into our cups, until you were the last man standing. However, anyone with any actual experience of clubbing knows that this is folly.
2. Avoid Coffee
Following on from a reasonable bed time, one thing that must be stressed is to avoid stimulants: especially coffee. Both on its own or with liquor. The latter is one of the worst methods for remaining sober. It’s a guarantee to keep you going, and subsequently to keep you drinking. People with a taste for Espresso martinis evidently have some sort of death wish.
3. Drinking Lots of Water, Followed By Headache Tables And A Multivitamin Before You Hit The Sack
Your ability and or capacity to do this will be the litmus test when you get home of whether you’ve followed the previous advice correctly. People who return home incapacitated always forget to follow this golden tip and pay for it dearly the next day. If you return home and haven’t completely stunned your wits, then a liter of water and a Berocca will guarantee a safe return to full consciousness the next day.
Appendix: Mixing
After recent experiments, I am almost certain that mixing drinks will have a minimal effect on your condition the next day. For example, I had a night out a few weeks ago where I mixed vodka, beer, wine, and scotch. I managed to fortify myself with water and some greasy food and felt fine the next day. I am almost certain that the quantity of alcohol being consumed is the main factor in contributing to your behaving like a drunken lout last night, and feeling like a corpse the following morning. The longer you drink, the greater variety of drinks consumed, true. But correlation does not equal causation and I would err on the side of skepticism when wondering about whether to follow a glass of port with a vodka Redbull.
In conclusion, if you want to feel better and behave better, the only solution is to drink less. But if you want to find out how to do that, you will need to consult a mind far greater than my own.
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