Clubbing expectation: A cute guy/girl bumps into you at the bar. Flirty chit-chat is had over a few drinks, followed by dancing. You make out for the rest of the night.
Clubbing reality: A guy/girl bumps into you at the bar. Whilst they talk about their stamp collection, you pretend to listen while thinking of an escape route. They stalk you all night.
There’s something about the nightclub setting that makes it seemingly socially acceptable for randoms to approach other randoms and begin to discuss really, well, awkward topics. I have certainly dealt with my fair share of awkward conversations on a night out. Once trapped in the wrath of an awkward conversation, I struggle to find a way out. I’ve fallen victim to the awkward nightclub conversation so many times that I’ve now developed some strategies to get out of them.
I’ve found that some of the most uncomfortable nightclub conversations have occurred when a person makes it really obvious that they’re trying to crack onto you, and you’re in no way interested. Despite having met you 48 seconds ago, they want your number and they’re telling you to forget about your boyfriend/girlfriend back home. They are so forward/desperate/sleazy that it’s just… awkward. I’ve escaped this one quite a few times with the old, “I’ll be right back, just have to go to the bathroom” trick. Works a charm because you’ll most likely lose them in crowd. Note: mentally prepare yourself for sleazy/awkward conversation part two if you run into them again later in the night.
Something else I have been known to do when trying to deal with an awkward convo is contribute to the awkwardness. If you try to weird the other person out, maybe they’ll come to feel as equally as awkward at the conversation as you are. Then they’ll want to stop talking to you, thus freeing you of the awkward conversation. Win!
This can be achieved in a few ways. Basically, just bring up topics you would never want to talk about with a random - that weird rash that’s flared up in an awkward place, what happened between Brooke and Ridge on the last episode of The Bold And The Beautiful… My personal favourite method is acting like a crazy cat lady; showing the awkward-conversation-starter pictures of my cat on my phone, telling stories about my cat, talking about how much I love my cat… They get bored and awkward. And suddenly desperately need to go meet a friend somewhere else. Mission accomplished (unless they like cats, The Bold And The Beautiful, or are interested in your rashes).
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