Or, ‘Lies We Read That Make Us Feel Better About Binge Drinking’, or ‘Shitfaced Logic’.*
IT CAN REDUCE STRESS AND ANXIETY
Studies show that peeps who enjoy a bev or two on the odd occasion also enjoy reduced levels of stress and eased anxiety. They also sleep well, more so than people who binge drink. (Does passing out count?)
IT CAN PREVENT HEART DISEASE
The risk of moderate drinkers developing heart diseased was reduced by 14% to 25% compared to their Sober Sally counterparts.
IT CAN LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE
If you already have high blood pressure and are a man.
IT CAN RAISE YOUR GOOD CHOLESTEROL
Legit. Any type of alcohol can help to raise good cholesterol levels which is apparently really hard for people who already have high cholesterol to do.
IT CAN IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY
British scientists found that three glasses of champers a week can improve spatial memory and help prevent dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, but only for the over 40s. And the trial was conducted on rats.
*All of the above “truths” were sourced from the Google (I only used the really legitimate looking ones, like the ones that had .vic.gov or .org at the end and I ignored this one because it had about 2814093808 spelling mistakes), and should be taken with a big fat disclaimer. Alcohol is not going to make you healthy, any authority who endorsed this assumed you know your limits and abide by an occasional moderate intake of booze. All these benefits can be achieved in other ways, like exercise and healthy eating and all that boring shit you already knew about. Sorry. Also, two weeks of sobriety does not mean you have accumulated ‘good day’ points and you can redeem them when you blow out one weekend and vom everywhere and pass out and get away with it. You still had alcohol poisoning.
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