We’ve all had our turn of being the last to arrive at the party because of other commitments and everyone else is already drunk. We grab the nearest bottle of vodka, skip the tipsy stage and head straight for drunk. But not long after, instead of enjoying the night, we end up in a messy heap beside the toilet. It’s a tactic that seems to go in one ear; skoaling does not work! So here are a few ways to catch up to the drunkness of everyone else without being sick. You’ll also be guaranteed a night you can remember.
1. Start with a low alcohol percent drink. A Cruiser, Breezer or UDL will work. Take big sips, but don’t skoal. Don’t start with the heavy alcohol or high percent ones as you’ll just get too drunk too quick and most likely end up sick. Drink a few of these drinks at a steady pace, you’ll soon be tipsy and be able to be loud like everyone else. You’ll almost think you are drunk.
2. Ask your friends if they want to play a drinking game. This is your chance to fill up your cup and drink a little bit quicker. Play a game where you know you’ll have to drink a bit but at intervals. (Never Have I Ever is always a good one). Stop the game after a few rounds so that you’re drink is empty (yes, only one cup for this game).
3. By now you’ll be tipsy, your body will accept you’ve started drinking (well, kind of) and you can start shots. Turn the music up real loud so you are in a good mood and ask your friends if they want to have shots with you. But don’t have any more than two. Do one shot, wait a bit, then do another. You may only even need one. Don’t get carried away or that bucket will be calling your name. Also, preferably shot what you’ve been drinking. So if you are on the Cruisers, stick to vodka.
4. By now, you’ve had a few drinks and one or two shots, if you are a lightweight that will be plenty. If not, maybe another drink or two will do. You should definitely be past tipsy. Your friends may be way past you on the drunk-o-meter, but just wait. Shots take a few minutes to kick in. Once they have, you’ll be tearing up the dance floor in no time. Now you can just have the one drink you carry in your hand all night but barely touch. Everyone will know you are drinking and you will be drunk but not sick.
Lastly: be patient. Nothing worth it comes right away. Enjoy being the only sober one for a while. Take photos of your drunk friends (to use for blackmail of course). Take the time to make a delicious drink (using everyone else’s mixes, they’ll be too drunk to notice). And bask in the glory of a clean toilet in the morning.
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