You are in a club, bouncing around to the music. You are having a great time or are wondering how much alcohol you would need to take to pass out because the music is doing your head in and the people you came with are nowhere to be seen.
As an intelligent and malicious nightclub enthusiast, you work the room. A look on the side; then to the other. You tilt your head and look back with flirty eyes. You have spotted the one – the one who will graciously buy you a drink. Your hand slowly runs through your hair and slightly down your neck. It is all on.
You are close now; so close to a Jack and Coke on the rocks. All that remains is for you to work your magic; but how?How do you get a girl to buy you a drink?
Some say woman need to be provoked. The female life struggle to obtain something remotely close to equality means that if a woman feels inferior – they will fight to get on top. “Drinks are the economy of sex in the nightclub world, and I think that’s really sad. So I’d say it’s downright good manners to buy a guy a drink if you’re interested in them. Or if they’re a friend and look thirsty” says 21 year old Rosanna Beatrice Stevens.
Rule # 1: Provoke a women’s inferiority and a drink is close at hand:
Now rule number one is for the easy woman (and I feel sorry to announce I fall in that category). The others are so stuck in their ways and etiquette of female social encounters that the inferiority argument will not get you the key to their wallets, and even less to their generosity.How do you break a stereotype so engrained in someone’s head? Like comedian Bill Burr says: feminist want all the good stuff of man, but fuck the bad stuff like buying drinks, when the titanic sinks they twist their hair back into pig tails and claim to be little girls.
Rule # 2: Game Play: play a game. If she loses, she had to buy you a drink.
Many articles relating to similar subjects have objectified the Game play as a winner in getting the dose of alcohol you are longing for. WikiHow published a case study entitled “how to convince a girl to buy you a drink” including very precise scenarios on how to certainly push one to buy you a drink.
Rule # 3: Location, Location, Location:
Pick a place that is financially up the market.If you are the financially low party, women will, by pity perhaps, buy you a drink.Peter Aham, student at the University of New South Wales, says that the idea of the independent, self-fulfilled woman is very popular these days. “It is a case of who is the more independent person in the room, and it is quickly established.”
Rule # 4: The Gay card:
Women are more prone to shout people if they are friends. In a club your chances of becoming friends with a girl instantly without her believing you are trying to smoothly get into her pants, is by pretending to be gay. It is a truth universally acknowledged: the more outrageously gay you are, the more you are allowed to do anything you like. A woman will never scream sexual harassment, or in my case slap you, when you put your hand down her top or on her bottom if you are gay. That way you can pretend to be friends straight away. Talk about your life and how you have lost you boyfriend in the crowd and you just might get enough sympathy to score. No not sex, but a drink.
Rule # 5: Sneaky, Sneaky – James Bond style:
Spot a big group of people who just walked out for office drinks, say Vincent Dalmoit, Waiter. Plan this with a friend – discreetly include yourself to his work party, but all the while remaining nonchalant. You are serious stuff. Work parties always end in separate groups. Find the group which suits you. Advice, not boss, not the nerd, just in the middle is perfect. It is complete with people who are trying not only to have a good time, but also to look good in front of everyone else. After all this is a work party. And Bam! It hits – the perfect phrase. My shout? It would be rude not to buy you a drink wouldn’t it? Thanks darling, you are so kind. Moving on…
Nevertheless, let’s be realistic. After realising the befalling thought that no woman had ever brought them drinks, many man I interviewed decided (on a fall back) how they would attempt to be bought a drink. Some of them bravely attempted (in their minds) a primitive push and blame technique consisting of bumping into a girl and blaming her for spilling your drink – therefore carefully securing a refill. But the fact of the matter is: men are too sacred to challenge stereotypes, and women do not attempt to dissuade them considering they have the good side of the bargain.
By Amarande Chauvet