Remember the days when men use to court women and woo them with compliments and dinner and wit and maybe flowers the next day? Neither do I.RIP chivalry, here’s the last five nails in the coffin*.  The countdown to the death of chivalry begins now….

1. “Don’t worry, it’ll be dark in there.”

On a first date dim lights are probably your best friend in the world because your date is literally blind to any possible imperfections. Pre date pimple? No matter! Unintentional stain on shirt? Not an issue! Minimum unflattering exposure to harsh lighting conditions = definite confirmation that you are indeed a sex god/goddess. Also, even with strobes, for some reason the lighting in clubs just gets you in the mood. KA-CHING.

2. Girls are compelled to wear suggestive clothing to nightclubs.

It’s like, girl code. Good luck taking a girl to the movies and getting her to rock up in a corset and mini skirt WITH glitter. That shiz just aint socially unacceptable in broad daylight (see above).

3. It’s “low key.”

Really, taking a girl to a nightclub just nips any proceeding expectations in the bud, and I’m talking comprehensively. She isn’t going to expect very much from you after this and therefore, will not be disappointed with very much after this.

4. It’s loud.

You are not going to be expected to converse very much on this date. This is great if you’re a bit shy and not much of a talker, it’s also great if you don’t really like your date and would like to avoid talking to them in other circumstances, but think they are super hot and think they would make a superb addition to your spank bank.

5. Draaankkss

Do I even have to say it?

*Boys, and girls for that matter, I am so joking please don’t go to a nightclub for your first date if you really like this person. Save it for the third at least. And lets be honest, if they FOFD (F… on first date), they are going to do it with or without the nightclub.