One of the most daunting and challenging tasks you will ever have to face is attempting to write the description for your birthday event on Facebook , without sounding like a total wanker. Or like it’s practically impossible to outline the particulars of your plans without sounding like a real keen bean or super pretentious…or like you assume every person you invite is going to read it and be like, ‘there is nothing as awesome as this, I must attend.’
So then you try and make it seem like you are totally blaze to the whole affair and, really you don’t want to, but are somehow obliged to suggest a group of people you know turn up to the same place at the same time. Although, you don’t really care who comes, so you invite your whole contact list just to let everyone know it is by no means exclusive.
And then the rest of us are all like…407 friends at your birthday party? Really? Do you think that you are Paris Hilton or Oprah or something?
Yes, Facebook has always been this judgmental.
But all of these are non-committal, you could always delete the event if your anxiety got really intense or play your, “don’t judge a book by its Facebook event card” - that is, until you have a birthday list at the club. This tells people, ‘yes, I do expect a majority of you to attend; I am organized, am not entirely spontaneous, and have gone to the particular effort of contacting the manager and making the necessary arrangements for discounted entry and drink cards.”
That shit is incriminating.
Is it worth walking straight onto the front line and potentially cementing your legacy as the kid who reminds us of that nerdy guy from ‘The Inbetweeners’ forever?
Well, yeah because you get free entry and sometimes a VIP room and also free drinks, which means you and ya posse can sit around acting like Paris Hilton. And then, your Facebook event can say “you find me in da club, bottle full a bub,” and you can fuck the haters a la 50 cent.
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