Bars and Nightclubs
Melbourne South, Melbourne

Seven Nightclub

52 Albert Rd, South Melbourne, VIC
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Your clubbing destination Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, there is no rest for the wicked and no sleep for the weary. Whether your a uni student kicking it on Thursday, someone looking for afterwork drinks Friday or getting messy on Saturday, Seven Nightclub and the various daily events will ensure you have stories to tell the morning after.

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Seven Nightclub Review


Review By Sophie Lane

If I had actually retained anything I learnt as a twelve year old during Confirmation (instead of gawking at the boy opposite me during Bible readings, wondering why God made my cheeks turn red every time he looked my way) I would perhaps be able to recite the seven deadly sins in accordance with Psalms and Hymns. Instead at age twenty-one, after spending devilish hours of the morning at one of South Melbourne's most iconic nightclubs, I can recite the seven deadly sins in accordance with what the boys and girls at Seven nightclub do when the sun goes down and the church doors are locked.

Upon entering Seven nightclub there is no mystery or intrigue left aside, the smokers room which is aptly situated towards the front of the club looks out on the line up of club goers smoking their tenth cigarettes in the hope that the heated ashes will somehow warm up their freeze snap frozen booties. Although the line up proves no tremendous wait, having extremely good looking members of the opposite sex dangled in front of one's pre-drink ridden eyes makes for an impatient entrance. I hear the girl two people ahead of me reel off which boys she would spread her legs for, and suddenly it's almost impossible to imagine immaculate conception. "Id take them all!" she says. Ah yes, Seven night club's feast of lustrous lads and ladies will wave a certain urge of gluttony over any club goer.

The entrance fee of $15 seems steep, and although I remind myself that this is South Melbourne, not Bethlehem,(and such steep prices are to be expected) I find myself heading for the indoor ATM. Greed? No, not yet, but five vodka sunrises later and I fear the white pearly gates would judge me somewhat differently.

Seven presents itself architecturally as much more of a bar than a typical 'club', with walls and rooms parallel and narrow, boasting long counter tops and seats to suffice. The main difference between Seven and a typical bar is extremely obvious though. The demographics to my left and right reveal that these club goers may have more in common with my twelve year bible blushing self. In saying that, there is a certain amount of class which these youngsters carry, and I find myself wishing I'd decked myself out like a modern day Wise Man - Snoop Dogg hybrid.

After a few drinks heavily saturated in vodka, I find myself forgetting the ages of my new found friends and instead recruiting these classy comrades for my journey. My Jesus delusions soon stop as I am faced with a puddle of vomit in front of the ladies bathroom, and to my dismay I cannot part the liquid and glide above. Luckily a buss boy cleans the mess up within a split second.

The drink prices at Seven match the classiness of the venue, and it's no surprise that the drinks are a little steeper than usual. I see a girl with an abundance of dosh spilling out of her clutch bag and can't help but get a little bit green eyed. No, wait, that was the Midori that the guy to my right just spilled down my top.

The music at seven varies from hip-hop and RnB to indie house tracks which Cane and Abel surely would have fought over, had it been thousands of years prior. I ashamedly find myself saving a few song lyrics in my phone so that I can lead my flock to the sounds of now the next morning.

Although Seven nightclub is sure to induce the seven deadly sins and encourage breakage of all twelve commandments, the club's classy architecure, crowd and innovative layout provide an experience that is above all heavenly.

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